THIS DIGITAL LIFE

As DOMINIQUE McMULLAN prepares for the big return post-baby, she considers the challenges facing working mums, and calls for the playing field to be levelled.

Dominique McMullan on the challenges facing working mums

Soon enough, I’ll be back to work after taking maternity leave from IMAGE HQ. The ten months have f lown by while working a very fulltime job as a new mum. Like many, I’ve had the best time, and the hardest time, all wrapped up in one. But now it’s time to start thinking about the next challenge, being a working mum.

I both have to, and want to, go back to work. Our house needs two incomes; life is expensive. But equally, my career matters to me. It’s an essential part of who I am, and I truly enjoy what I do. While I know my priorities are shifting, I also know that my career will always remain high on the list.

I am under no illusion. I know the next few years will be a complicated game of pick-up-drop-off-snotty-nose-Tetris. My mum friends talk to me about “The Juggle”. I know there will be a lot of guilt and at times it will all feel a bit impossible. I’m lucky enough to have a supportive and helpful family as well as a workplace that truly values mums, and (after a long search) secure childcare. Many mums don’t have these. But it’s still a daunting future for me to look into, because when it comes down to it, the modern workplace is not designed for me as a mother.

A system that was created during the industrial revolution, before women even really joined the workforce, does not, unsurprisingly, lend itself to blending mothering with a successful career. Women are few and far between at higher levels in companies, mothers even less so. Mothers go on to earn less than their father peers after having children. New mums are being prevented from going back to work because of the current Irish childcare crisis. Bar a few dads, it is mothers who mainly go into part-time work to make prohibitively expensive childcare more affordable. And it is mothers’ declining salaries that make up a large part of the Gender Pay Gap.

Mothering while having a career shouldn’t have to be such a heroic effort. Mothers are as committed to their jobs as everyone else. We shouldn’t feel judged for leaving the office at 5pm. Inflexible working hours and the “presenteeism” mentality still revered by so many companies have up until now made a truly diverse workforce impossible. But because of technology, it’s possible to make the changes that families, and so many others need. In Finland, employees have the legal right to decide when and where they work for at least half of their working hours. In our current digital age, this makes sense for everyone. The Irish government is currently seeking the public’s views on flexible working, and a Finnish model is just one of the things we should be fighting for.

For me, though, it’s the antiquated views on a mother’s place that are more damaging than all the other impediments. A very close relative let their feelings be known to me. My son was too young for crèche and “wouldn’t I just stay at home for his sake”. This comment hurt and it wasn’t the first I had heard. It is so easy to internalise this sexism and to convince ourselves that our children would be better off if we were to stay at home, if we even had a choice in the matter. But I am here to tell you that that’s wrong. Choice aside, your children will not be better off if you stay at home. Your children will be better off if you are happy, wherever that may be.

There is hope. We are living in a time when women’s voices are louder than they have ever been, and among them, mothers’ voices are ringing out. Jacinda Ardern brought her three-month-old with her to the UN. Blogger Mother Pukka is fighting tooth and nail for flexible working in the UK. Women are getting into positions where they can make decisions that make sense for families.

I worry that once I am back in work, I won’t have time to speak up anymore. But my 2020 New Year’s resolution? To make sure I make time for the things that really matter, so watch this space.

“Mothering while having a career shouldn’t have to be such a heroic effort. We’re as committed to our jobs as everyone else.”