LOVE YOURSELF

By Emily Power Smith, a sexologist who practises in Dublin (empowersme.com).

“For me, getting through the menopause is a four-step process:

1 EDUCATE.

Listen to the Wellness Warrior (wellnesswarrior.ie). Read Your Middle Years by Paula Mee and Kate O’Brien.

2 LUBRICATE.

Vaginal dryness is a big problem. Vaginal atrophy, when the vaginal walls fuse together, does happen. Get an organic lube. Use it for any touch – the vulva is more sensitive at this time. Try vaginal moisturisers and topical oestrogens. ey are safe to use.

3 MASTURBATE.

Learn how to love yourself. Having a space where you can relax and not worry about giving someone else pleasure or achieving a goal is really useful to a woman.

4 COMMUNICATE.

A lot of women struggle with telling a partner what hurts and what works. ey are trying to protect their partner’s ego and placing that over their pleasure.

But the menopause can be a rollercoaster and your partner needs to know that. Educate your children too. Everyone can recover from a mood swing if they know what it is and understand it’s not personal.