IS THIS EMOTIONAL ABUSE?

My husband has become like Rob Titchener from BBC Radio 4’s The Archers. I am very upset that he no longer lets me go out or visit places on my own. He can have temper tantrums like a child, and I have to be very careful about what I say and do. He has some hobbies and goes out, but I am supposed to stay at home so that his meals are ready when he returns. I used to have a bit of independence, but now I am stuck in the house. He is polite to other people. I suppose all I can do is just accept it and stay at home. Sadly, characters like Rob Titchener do exist in real life, wanting to control every part of their wife or partner’s life. They are usually charming at the start of a relationship, but are often dangerous and abusive – and can become violent. A typical sign of coercive control is trying to cut you off from your family and friends. Your husband’s bullying and controlling behaviour is deeply concerning. Unless he is prepared to change – and that seems unlikely – you need to reclaim your life and end this marriage. The longer a person puts up with this type of behaviour, the more downtrodden he or she becomes – and the more difficult it is for them to leave. Ask other family members and friends for support in making a plan to leave the marriage. Also read Invisible Chains by Lisa Aronson Fontes (Guildford Publications, €15.39).