WHY DO YOU IGNORE THE RED FLAGS?

YOU ARE VULNERABLE You have recently come out of a long relationship and are naive about dating or too trusting. Perhaps you’re on the rebound from someone nice but dull and confuse the adrenalin rush of fear with love. YOU BELIEVE IN LOVE You might scoff at the excesses of romcoms, but you fall hard and easily in love. So when a charming man gives you his spiel, even though he doesn’t really believe it, you certainly will. YOU HAVE LOW SELF-ESTEEM You normally hold men at arm’s length because you think you’re too old or not attractive enough, but charming men like a challenge (it boosts their own low self-esteem) and once he’s past the first line of your defences, you open your heart far too quickly. It normally takes three months for couples to decide if they are boyfriend and girlfriend, and 18 months to establish whether their relationship has a future. YOU WERE TRAINED TO PUT UP WITH DIFFICULT MEN BY YOUR FATHER He was always the source of drama in your childhood, so while other women will run at the first sign of extreme behaviour – such as threatening to self-harm if he doesn’t get his own way – it all feels strangely familiar. YOU ARE BORED Your life has not been fulfilling recently or you haven’t challenged yourself enough. However, running around after a difficult man or trying to please one is not the sort of excitement you need.