KATE’S STRATEGY FOR STEPMOTHERHOOD

Always ensure that the children are involved in decisions regarding you and your partner. They mustn’t feel pushed into a corner. Set boundaries early. It’s easier not to discipline them, but they won’t respect you long-term. The kids have to do certain chores; if they don’t, no pocket money. Have regular one-on-one time. I lie down alone with each kid in bed most nights to get to know them as individuals. They really appreciate not having to compete for attention. Try not to get too caught up in the seriousness of your role. Sometimes you can be consumed by the school run, supervising homework, cooking dinner. Remember to have fun. Don’t forget about yourself. If you can’t look after yourself you can’t look after anyone else. You need your own escapes: at the beginning I was so caught up with Rio and the children that I forgot to see my own friends. And make time just for you and your partner, otherwise what’s the point?