LOVE, LOSS AND LAUGH-OUT-LOUD MO­MENTS

HIGH­LIGHTS FROM CARIAD’S GRIEF POD­CASTS

Irish Daily Mail - YOU - - YOU WELLNESS -

Robert Pop­per on when his grandma was ad­mit­ted to hospi­tal: ‘She had a cough­ing fit and wasn’t breath­ing. We called an am­bu­lance and fol­lowed be­hind. She was on a stretcher wear­ing an oxy­gen mask, clutch­ing her hand­bag. They gen­tly tried to take her bag from her but she was like, “No way, you’re not hav­ing it.” I said to her, “Don’t worry, you’ll be OK.” She took off her oxy­gen mask and asked, “Would you like a yo­ghurt?” She re­mem­bered at that mo­ment that she had one for me. She took it out of her bag, then put it straight back and re­placed the oxy­gen mask.’ SUZI RUFFELL on a mo­ment shared be­fore her grand­mother died: ‘Be­fore Nan died, I’d made her a photo al­bum that tracked her life. I found the old­est photo I could of her, pic­tures of us as kids and the hol­i­days we had. I got into bed with her and we went through it. She told me the sto­ries I’d heard a hun­dred times. Then I said, “Nan, I’ve got to go. I’m film­ing with Jonathan Ross to­mor­row.” And she said, “You know I’m off, don’t you?” And I was like, “Yeah, I do.” And she went, “All right then. Love ya.” Then I got in my car and cried all the way back to Lon­don. She passed away while I was film­ing with Jonathan Ross.’ SARA PAS­COE on the death of her grand­fa­ther when she was a child: ‘As a child griev­ing, there is an aware­ness that you have to be re­ally, re­ally sad but at times you can’t stop your­self feel­ing happy, and at other times you can’t stop your­self feel­ing sad when you’re meant to be hav­ing a nice time. When­ever some­thing good hap­pened I’d be told, “Your grandad would be so proud of you.”’ ROBERT WEBB ‘Grief gives you in­stant wis­dom. You’re sud­denly the go-to girl. If any­one loses a cat they’re em­bar­rassed to talk about it be­cause the cat isn’t a par­ent. Then they think you might have some se­cret knowl­edge on how you deal with it.’ ROBIN CLYFAN on his mum’s ill­ness: ‘What can re­ally help is some­one vis­it­ing from out­side the fam­ily be­cause it’s such a pres­sure cooker at home. There never feels enough space for any­one to grieve. You’re al­ready griev­ing when some­one’s ter­mi­nally ill. A Macmil­lan nurse came round and looked at Mum and said, “You don’t look well, Ann.” There was a mo­ment of truth and recog­ni­tion. After that I tried to talk to her and she said she knew she was in de­nial. From that point she’d say, “Why would I talk about my death? There’s noth­ing more bor­ing.” Be­fore she went into the hospice she spent an hour giv­ing me and my sis­ter very pre­scrip­tive advice, such as, “Robin, this is what you should wear on Fri­day,” and “You should go out with some­one who’s a very tall banjo player.” DAVID BAD­DIEL on los­ing his mother, who died of pneu­mo­nia: ‘It’s hideous. There’s no po­etry, no Hol­ly­wood. The im­pe­tus, for me, is to talk about it. What I find dif­fi­cult is not talk­ing about it. The age­ing of your par­ents, in my dad’s case [who has de­men­tia], ab­so­lutely brings into fo­cus your own mor­tal­ity.’

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