I want to share my life with some­one

Irish Daily Mail - YOU - - YOUR PROBLEMS ANSWERED -

I was with my part­ner for ten years, but we sep­a­rated when I was 35 af­ter he had an af­fair. I have not had a suc­cess­ful long-term re­la­tion­ship since then. I am now 51, child­less and sin­gle, but I have made sure to re­main pos­i­tive. I have had a var­ied ca­reer, met lots of in­ter­est­ing peo­ple and I own my house. I some­times won­der whether I would have been more ful­filled if I’d had chil­dren, but I also re­alise that that is of­ten not the happy choco­late-box life por­trayed in the me­dia. Christ­mas is very dif­fi­cult for peo­ple like me as the happy fam­ily im­age is thrown at you from all an­gles, but I con­cen­trate on sup­port­ing a lo­cal char­ity for those in need. I would like to meet a life part­ner, but if this doesn’t hap­pen, you can still get en­joy­ment from life. Thank you for your in­ter­est­ing let­ter. I get so many from peo­ple who are des­per­ate to find a long-term part­ner and this is un­der­stand­able (es­pe­cially when peo­ple want chil­dren). But it is re­ally im­por­tant not to let it con­sume ev­ery thought and ac­tion or make you un­happy in the mean­time. You sound as though you have made life ful­fill­ing in other ways and I hope that this will in­spire oth­ers. I un­der­stand your sad­ness at not hav­ing had chil­dren, but also the ac­knowl­edg­ment that in some cases it doesn’t live up to ex­pec­ta­tions. Per­haps you have neph­ews and nieces who you can en­joy do­ing things with. Also, the hap­pier you are as a per­son, the more likely you are to meet some­one. Try read­ing Jen­nifer Taitz’s book How to be Sin­gle and Happy: Sci­ence-Based Strate­gies for Keep­ing Your San­ity While Look­ing for a Soul­mate.

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