I want to share my life with someone

I was with my partner for ten years, but we separated when I was 35 after he had an affair. I have not had a successful long-term relationship since then. I am now 51, childless and single, but I have made sure to remain positive. I have had a varied career, met lots of interesting people and I own my house. I sometimes wonder whether I would have been more fulfilled if I’d had children, but I also realise that that is often not the happy chocolate-box life portrayed in the media. Christmas is very difficult for people like me as the happy family image is thrown at you from all angles, but I concentrate on supporting a local charity for those in need. I would like to meet a life partner, but if this doesn’t happen, you can still get enjoyment from life. Thank you for your interesting letter. I get so many from people who are desperate to find a long-term partner and this is understandable (especially when people want children). But it is really important not to let it consume every thought and action or make you unhappy in the meantime. You sound as though you have made life fulfilling in other ways and I hope that this will inspire others. I understand your sadness at not having had children, but also the acknowledgment that in some cases it doesn’t live up to expectations. Perhaps you have nephews and nieces who you can enjoy doing things with. Also, the happier you are as a person, the more likely you are to meet someone. Try reading Jennifer Taitz’s book How to be Single and Happy: Science-Based Strategies for Keeping Your Sanity While Looking for a Soulmate.