I think my boyfriend might be gay

Recently, I found out that my boyfriend of more than four years has been using Grindr – a social networking app for gay and bisexual people. I caught him talking to a guy on WhatsApp while I was pregnant. He told me that he hadn’t had any sexual contact, just chatting and I believed him. Now we have a new baby, finding out that he has a Grindr account has shattered me. I don’t understand why he is doing this. Is he gay? I feel angry, hurt and deceived. If I try talking to him about it, he shouts at me and tells me to leave it alone. Neither of us wants to break up and I hate the thought of being a single parent, especially with a young baby. And I don’t want to make him unhappy. This is difficult for you and I do understand how vulnerable you feel, especially with a new baby. Yes, I think that your boyfriend must be attracted to men. Unfortunately, sometimes gay or bisexual men form partnerships with women because they want children. They usually choose a woman who they have genuine feelings of love and affection for and are happy to be with, but it is still unfair. The fact that he gets so angry when you try to talk about this sounds as though he has something to hide. It would be difficult for you to split up as you need his support with the baby, but I wonder how you would feel staying in a relationship in which you know that it is not really you he desires. You deserve someone who does. Splitting up would be hard at first, and painful, but I am sure you have a great deal of love for each other. Do you think that you could maintain a close friendship and bring up the baby together, but as friends rather than partners? Explain this to him and ask him to be honest with you. I hope you can find a way forward with this situation. For further help, visit the website of PFLAG (pflag.org).