Can our mar­riage sur­vive both our af­fairs?

Irish Daily Mail - YOU - - FOOD FESTIVE BAKES -

My hus­band has been un­faith­ful at least twice dur­ing our 20-year mar­riage, though I sus­pect it could be more than that. He reg­u­larly dis­ap­pears for hours with­out say­ing where he is go­ing and I get the feel­ing that he prefers be­ing out to spend­ing time with me and our chil­dren, who are aged 16 and 18. He does, how­ever, pro­vide well for us fi­nan­cially. A while ago, he ac­cused me of hav­ing an af­fair, which at the time was not true, but even­tu­ally I did em­bark on one with a col­league. The sex is out of this world but he is also mar­ried, though not very hap­pily. I am now torn in two di­rec­tions. Should I stay with my hus­band for the sake of our chil­dren or di­vorce him and bring them up on my own? There is so much miss­ing from our re­la­tion­ship. Can a mar­riage sur­vive with a com­plete lack of trust? A good mar­riage can be re­built af­ter a sin­gle af­fair, but mul­ti­ple af­fairs are quite dif­fer­ent. It sounds as if there may not be enough love left be­tween you both. Yes, it is hard for chil­dren when par­ents di­vorce, but it can be just as bad for them to be caught be­tween un­happy par­ents in a love­less mar­riage. So talk to your hus­band and have joint coun­selling to help you de­cide what you both want to do. My book To Love, Hon­our & Be­tray: Why Af­fairs Hap­pen and How to Sur­vive Them can help you fur­ther. You need to end your af­fair too un­less you re­ally think that you have a fu­ture to­gether.

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