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NOEL CUNNINGHAM ON HOW TO BE THE PERFECT HOST

Don’t be a martyr, politely request that your guests put away their mobile phones and only invite people you want to have in your home – just some tips for Christmas day magic from the dapper host-with-the-most and TV showbiz reporter Noel Cunningham, general manager of Harvey’s Point resort in Donegal.

‘Individually we are lovely and caring but the pressure of Christmas changes us a little bit. We can be carried on this tide that turns us into monsters,’ says Noel, 64, who desperately wants to remind people that the true spirit of Christmas is the antithesis of rushing, stressing and shopping.

‘Whenever I see queues of cars outside supermarkets on Christmas Eve I feel like shouting, “Hold on, a turkey is only a large chicken! The shops will be open again on St Stephen’s Day. Go back to normal for heaven’s sake. Get a grip!”’

Growing up on a farm in the gaeltacht village of Kilcar, Co Donegal, where he was born in 1953, Christmas time was very different for young Noel, who had two brothers and three sisters, than it is today. ‘I think Christmas for people of that generation was much more special. It wasn’t commercialised to the extent that it is today and Santa was something extraordinary. Just to get an orange or a piece of fruit or a lorry or a doll was very special. Children didn’t have toys in rural Ireland in those days so if you got a toy you cherished it every single day,’ he reminisces.

‘You didn’t get a complete range of different presents. If you were very lucky as you moved into the 1960s and 1970s, selection boxes became something that appeared. My abiding memory of Christmas day was the fabulous lunch which was always looked forward to. You might have a turkey or a chicken that was raised on your own farm or bought from a local farmer. It was something you didn’t have as regular occurrence at all and because of that it was extra special.

‘On Christmas night the local community in Kilcar always put on a Christmas concert. My family would walk the four miles to the village to see it and we would walk the four miles home again. As you walked along you collected different families along the way and you all progressed together. It was particularly magical if it was a frosty night. They were really simpler times but the magic nonetheless was potent.’

These memories must be all the more poignant since Noel’s sister Marie and her husband Donal were killed in a car crash in 1996 in which another sister was also injured. Noel immediately moved home to Donegal from London – where he had also worked in hospitality – to support his nieces and nephews.

Christmas, he knows, is all about spending time with those you love and having some good old-fashioned fun. But it’s hard to feel lighthearted if you are stressed about paying Christmas bills. Up in Dublin to work at Virgin Media One this month – where he is entertainment correspondent for Ireland AM – Noel was dismayed at the sight of the harried hordes shopping, at least some of whom will be plunged into debt to put the latest must-haves under the tree.

‘In general our expectations are higher now in every respect. Sometimes I feel that our children know the price of everything and the value of nothing. My greatest sadness that I carry – and

which makes me find Christmas hard to deal with – is when I see people walking on O’Connell Street, Grafton Street, Henry Street, parents who just may be living in straitened times and their children don’t understand that.

‘They don’t understand why they can’t have those fabulous toys in the windows and the marvellous new technology.

‘The pressure on families – even those who would be considered middle-class – is enormous. We’ve spoiled the children, the expectation is enormous. Come St Stephen’s Day some of those valuable things will be thrown in a heap in the corner never to be used again. It all went wrong when we decided to have toy rooms in our homes,’ he muses.

At luxurious Harvey’s Point on the shores of Lough Eske, the hotel is completely booked out for Christmas. This means that staff at the fourstar hotel, of course, are working over the holidays. ‘I would have to say it has been my experience in almost 50 years in hotel and catering that guests over the Christmas period are delightful 99% of the time,’ says Noel.

‘They are respectful of the fact that the people looking after them are missing out, in a way, on their Christmas. They are really mindful of the fact that they’re on holiday in a beautiful hotel and everything is laid on – entertainment, wonderful food. So they never forget the fact

that the young people and not-so-young people who are working there want make their stay as fabulous as possible.’

He might be the manager of the hotel voted Ireland’s best by TripAdvisor for five consecutive years, but Noel is refreshingly down-to-earth with his advice about the festive season. ‘If you’re not comfortable hosting, then just have your immediate family on Christmas Day. If you’re hosting a gathering, the most important thing is for guests to feel relaxed from the minute they walk in your door.’

This cannot happen if the host is slaving in the kitchen all day, so he offers some great tips for time-saving in the panels below.

‘Come Christmas morning you’re frazzled to the highest level and I want to say collectively to people take a step back, relax. Christmas Day will come and go. Nobody will notice the dress you wore that you changed into before lunch. It’s lovely to make it special but not to the point of causing yourself such anxiety and suffering in the process that it translates throughout the family and everyone else at your gathering.’

If you can’t get out of inviting that infamously cantankerous relative, Noel suggests you deal with it with some grace – and a sense of humour. ‘Explain to your children and husband and other guests that auntie Philomena has to come and nothing will be right but that we’ll have to humour her as best we can and maybe it will help to get two sherries into her early in the day.’

Equally, Noel recommends you don’t make a fuss when guests decline your festive invitation. ‘If your daughter is newly married and she chooses to spend her first Christmas of married life with the in-laws, get over it.

‘Have them for New Year’s Day instead, cook another bloody turkey!’

Sage words indeed. And here’s some more of his excellent, no-nonsense advice...

DECORATING TIPS

I would hope that one of these years, someone is going to start a campaign to put up Christmas decorations on December 8 and take them down on January 6. Since when have Christmas trees gone up in early November? It’s horrifying!

Get a real Christmas tree that’s still growing and can be replanted in your garden or in the forest afterwards. We need to show our children the value of the environment – it’s so important. Fake trees? No. I would banish all fake trees.

Get the children to make decorations for the tree so that in 30 years’ time when they have children of their own, they can share with them that most magical memory – ‘Your daddy made that’. Christmas has become so commercial that we have lost some of that magic.

PLANNING THE CHRISTMAS DINNER

1. Choose the menu. Don’t try out new recipes for such a big day. This adds to stress and it is always better to stick to the tried and tested.

2. Do not be a martyr! Anything one can buy preprepared is perfectly acceptable. Delicious breads and puddings, accompaniments and nibbles are easily sourced and in many cases better than one would prepare oneself.

3. Prepare in advance anything that can be prepared. For example, a delicious gravy can be made days in advance and put in the freezer. Get stock bones from the butcher or use a chicken carcass as a base stock. A job done!

4. Buy an oven-prepped turkey, ham or beef. Your butcher and indeed all leading supermarkets are very accommodating. Ham can be simmered the day before, glazed with brown sugar and cloves and finished off on the day in the oven. Cook the turkey on the day, and ensure it is cooked until the juices run clear and let it rest covered in foil in the kitchen for at least 45 minutes. Don’t be intimidated by cooking a turkey – it’s simply a big chicken.

5. Make a hearty, heavenly soup the day before. One cannot go wrong with a delicious vegetable soup. I also recommend that this is served in the early afternoon, shortly after the arrival of all guests and this can be done in a delightfully casual manner. Serve with crusty white bread or sourdough bread. The main event, the dinner, will follow perhaps an hour or more later. This staggered food plan is also a good idea because we all eat too much on Christmas Day so staggering the courses in this way helps.

6. Choose a simple starter for the main dinner. I love good quality smoked salmon, an egg mayonnaise is always popular, ripe avocados always win and prawns are almost expected to make an appearance on any such festive menu. I also love to add charcuterie or Italian antipasto, a cold mashed potato with mayonnaise and spring onion and a Russian salad. Plate in advance as an assorted hors d’oeuvre and serve with brown bread.

7. Prepare vegetables in advance. I parboil cauliflower, broccoli and Brussels sprouts, drain them well and place them in a baking dish the day before. On the day I coat with a simple white sauce made with full cream milk, flour and butter. I season, add a glass of brandy, bake in the oven and add cheese at the last minute before I serve. I make a delicious spiced red cabbage, cooking for hours in red wine, spices and brown sugar. Freeze if necessary and simply thaw out and finish off in the oven on the day in a foil-covered baking dish.

8. I always pre-peel the potatoes and leave them to stand in cold water overnight. I also pre-scrape and parboil carrots and parsnips the previous day, cool down then put in a baking tray with the turkey for delicious roasted root vegetables on the day toward the end of its cooking time.

9. Buy a great quality Christmas pudding if you are not an expert at making such a wonderful thing. There are millions of terrifically flavoursome ones in all supermarkets. Buy some brandy butter if you don’t have time to make it, and of course always have double cream in the fridge. A large homemade trifle always goes down well and is so simple to make – again the day before, saving time.

CUTLERY AND GLASSWARE

The previous day prepare the cutlery and glassware. If space allows and there is a separate dining area, set the table in advance. Less is more and while one is aiming for elegance, Christmas Day is one of the few days we dine formally so a little effort with the table is recommended.

No cartons of milk on the table – it drives me mad!

A seasonal table centre should not impede conversation and the odd bauble and accessory of a glitzy type is very acceptable.

Choose a theme and colour, and candles work wonders for atmosphere.

Invest in a good quality canteen of cutlery. On days such as Christmas or special occasions, to have a quality set of cutlery is simply beautiful and adds so much to the table and the day. Newbridge Silverware has a beautiful selection.

Don’t forget napkins – and have you got a condiment set?

ALCOHOL

Everyone in a family will know perfectly well who is likeliest to overimbibe. Do not encourage your guests to drink too much alcohol – it’s a long day, and, as etiquette dictates, everything in moderation. Instead of starting the day with champagne, you can offer tea or coffee with mince pies when they arrive. Don’t give people too much to drink early in the day when they’re not used to that routine and when they’re probably hungry and haven’t eaten anything other than a bowl of cereal before rushing out to church.

If you stagger the meal this will act as blotting paper for alcohol. Ensure there are jugs of iced water on the table. Choose the wines with care. Know your guests. Perhaps some would prefer a

beer and that’s perfectly fine. But don’t mix the grain and the grape!

I always recommend a nice glass of champagne pre-dinner, or a good prosecco. Offer a choice of a medium white wine, such as a good Sauvignon Blanc, and a nice Merlot or Cabernet. Chill the white wine the day before as fridge space is at a premium at Christmas and ensure the red wine is left in a nice warm part of the dining room. Open the red wine an hour before dinner is served so it can breathe, which helps the bouquet and flavour.

I also recommend a cheese board at the latter part of the meal and it is nice at this stage to offer a nice glass of port. A great selection of fine cheeses are available in all good supermarkets and remember to serve cheese at room temperature.

BE GENEROUS

The greatest generosity is your being present to host. Chat and reminisce and still know that the preparation you have done will pay dividends and that there is nothing to stress or worry about. Remember your guests do not want you slaving in the kitchen – they want your company.

DIPLOMACY

If someone has a tendency to drink too much or be argumentative, have a heart-to-heart before Christmas Day and tell them firmly but in the spirit of goodwill, that you expect them to behave in an appropriate manner because this can be a sensitive time and family issues can surface.

Rule number one is to keep the conversation light and fun. Arrange some games such as charades to keep the mood calm and enjoyable and do not engage in any controversial discourse.

If family or friends are separated couples, only invite both if they are on great terms. There’s nothing as bad as a warring couple that may have separated in recent times. It’s about not exposing them and about being respectful of them as well. By inviting them into your beautiful, happy family you’re almost putting a spotlight on how sad their lives are compared to yours. So don’t invite them both unless they can turn to each other and say, ‘Thank God I don’t have to sleep with you tonight!’

NUMBERS GAME

If you’re wondering how many people to invite, the golden advice is to pick a number you’re comfortable with. There is no point in sending your husband to various relations looking for spare tables and chairs. There’s nothing as bad as having makeshift tables where you have some guests sitting on a chair in the corner, some at the breakfast bar. A good guideline is to pick the biggest table in your home, see how many it fits, and invite that number.

DIGITAL DETOX

Politely request that everyone puts away their mobile phones for the duration of the celebration. Some nice party games like charades or even oldfashioned board games like Ludo or Snakes and Ladders go down a treat. Parents often subconsciously assume their children won’t be interested in, say, doing a jigsaw puzzle together but children actually adore this kind of old-style family fun.

THERE’S ALWAYS ONE

There will always be a difficult person, a cantankerous auntie or troublesome uncle – usually the people nobody wants to invite but for peace and harmony someone has to extend that invitation. There are no hard fast rules, just manage the situation.

IF YOU ARE THE GUEST

Dress appropriately as it is a special occasion. Respect your host by making an effort with your appearance.

Always bring a gift for the host, hostess or both. It’s so horrible to show up at the door with a bare bottle of wine in your hands – so take the time to wrap it! If I’m going to a house for a dinner party I will choose a nice bottle of wine for the lady of the house, then go to my local florist and get them to wrap it with cellophane and a fresh rose corsage.

If you are staying overnight with the hosts a more permanent token gift is called for, again beautifully presented.

Know when to politely call it a day, thank your hosts and go home.

Always send a handwritten note of thanks afterwards to your hosts, even if it is your mum and dad.

THE January Midweek Winter Escape at Harvey’s Point includes 2 nights’ bed & breakfast with dinner on one evening and a complimentary cooking demonstration and wine appreciation class every Tuesday and Thursday afternoon. From €89 per person sharing per night. Visit harveyspoint. com. See over for delicious recipes from the hotel’s executive chef