Irish Daily Mail - YOU

WHISKY & FRISKY TRICKS

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Drink gin and tonic while I get ready for dinner. All this drinking has made my eyeliner very skewwhiff. Put on pink party dress, plastic tiara I bought from a toy shop and long-sleeved, kidskin evening gloves. Spend ten minutes trying to fasten the fiddly pearl buttons on my gloves, swearing and wishing that I had a lady’s maid. Realise it is impossible to do anything by yourself once you have leather evening gloves on. Even holding a cigarette holder is awkward. How on earth did she manage in the loo?

7.30pm

Arrive at sister’s for dinner party. She immediatel­y asks why I’m wearing a tiara. ‘Because I’m being Princess Margaret,’ I tell her.

‘Oh yes,’ she says. ‘I forgot. Would you mind helping pass round the crisps?’

7.51pm

‘Would you like a glass of champagne?’ asks my brother-in-law. He has bought several bottles of expensive Louis Roederer champagne especially for tonight. Margaret preferred wine to champagne so I wrinkle my nose.

‘No, I expect it tastes exactly like petrol,’ I say, deploying the snarky line Margaret once used when offered a glass of precious 1836 madeira by a friend. My brother-in-law bows and backs away, looking suitably cowed. Ha!

8.35pm

Sit down for dinner. Ask if they have bottled Malvern water, the only water Margaret

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