‘IT IS TERRIFYING FOR ME TO GO INTO A GROUP OF PEOPLE. I AM SHY. I DON’T HAVE A HUGE AMOUNT OF CONFIDENCE’

about a woman disillusioned by the lies and embellishments of dating in an age of social media; ‘Hate Me’ delves into the angry desire to erase an ex from your life.

‘I may analyse [my marriage] at some point,’ she says. ‘But no, it was one of those things where it was a different level of sacredness. I write about [past] relationships – and still do – and it doesn’t bother Caspar whatsoever, but I explore these things because they’re valid, and they happened in my life and they’re things that made me who I am. So I think it would be wrong to get married and then think that you have to completely close your past away. He accepts that.’

The pair met in 2016 after they were seated next to each other at a dinner arranged by their mutual friend, Princess Eugenie. At the time, Ellie was determinedly single and enjoying her independence after years of what she describes as ‘serial monogamy’. She had taken a break from the relentless pace of the music industry and was stepping back from the pressures of fame and from the exhausting public act of Being Ellie Goulding.

‘I think a common misconception with me, and maybe with other performers, too, is that we’re confident and that we’re super “out there”,’ she says. ‘But it is terrifying for me to go into a group of people and I think that’s always been the case. When I look back at even being at school and college

I am just a shy person. I don’t have a huge amount of confidence.

‘It is funny seeing myself on stage – when I have to watch myself back – you know, how I sort of take on this confident role as a performer. But as soon as I’m off stage, that’s gone again. I didn’t attend a single afterparty on my tour. And they were every night. I didn’t go to a single one. Too shy.’

Despite this shyness, Ellie has had to become used to her every move being closely scrutinised. Ever since her debut album, Lights, reached number one in the album charts on its release in 2010, her personal life has been the subject of intense media fascination. Her exes include One Direction’s Niall Horan, the Radio 1 presenter Greg

James, the record producer Skrillex and Dougie Poynter, the bassist from McFly (she did not, as is popularly claimed, date either Ed Sheeran or Prince Harry).

But, she points out, ‘me and my friends had really similar dating patterns, you know? It’s just that obviously mine were a bit more in the public eye. I was made to feel as if it was unusual to have relationships until you find the right one [but] it’s just part of being young and learning about yourself and evolving. Sometimes it requires other people to come into your life to make it so. But then when I met Caspar, I was just at this really independent phase of my life and I was like, “Goddammit!” because I was in such a strong place and then this guy comes along and I realised after about six months, “Ah, s**t – time to get married!” I knew we were going to get married. Weird feeling. Yeah.’

She is laughing as she says this, poking fun at her own reaction. Does she feel she was treated differently in the media from her male contemporaries? Her eyes light up.

‘Without a shadow of a doubt,’ she says with an alacrity that suggests she has been waiting for someone to ask her this very question. ‘Male musicians can get away with so much more than women… I felt like it was OK for a guy to go from relationship to relationship or from girl to girl without really being judged too much. With me, there were several articles that began, “So and so’s fling, Ellie Goulding.” I became the secondary thing, even though I was consistently a successful musician and I worked hard, I didn’t mess around. I didn’t make a career out of drama, out of publicity, out of hype, I just made it out of the music. I was killing it! I was touring and I was performing – every single night. I worked hard and that was my job, I saw it as my job, something that I was passionate about. But at the same time it still felt like relationships I was in seemed to take precedence over my success, over my talent. That was slightly confusing to me, and still is, really.’

I can see why. There is no doubting Ellie Goulding’s success. She has built up an estimated fortune of €20 million and has won so many awards that they warrant their own Wikipedia page. She is that rare thing: a commercially successful artist who also garners substantial critical acclaim. And she has done it all through sheer hard graft.

Her childhood could not have been more different from the exalted social circles she now finds herself mixing in. She was born Elena Goulding, the second eldest of four.

Her mother Tracey was an art student who dropped out of college when she became pregnant with her eldest child. Her father Arthur was an undertaker and part-time musician who left when Ellie was five. Her mother later remarried and, for years,