‘HE SHOUTS AT TOP VOLUME, LIKE THE JOLLY GREEN GIANT’

that means you can’t always be the frivolous, fun individual you are with your partner.’

But this isn’t to say that we’re all shacked up with secret autocrats; quite often the opposite is the case. I heard one story about a woman who has only just discovered that her husband has a ‘polite work laugh’ that he regularly deploys during calls. She had never heard it before. ‘It’s funny to hear someone you’ve lived with for nearly 30 years sound like an entirely different person all of a sudden,’ she says. Another friend has only just realised that her boyfriend is actually a bit of a slacker, saying, ‘Despite being at work nine to five, I hadn’t realised he really only works four hours a day.’

Emma also describes situations where people have been made uncomfortable by how flirtatious their partners are at work, not understanding that it’s primarily used as a professional lubricant to get things done. ‘We lose our graces in relationships a lot of the time,’ she says. ‘This is because we think we’re loved exactly as we are. But if our partners are used to us being grumpy, and then we’re suddenly really flirty at work, it’s understandable to think, “Well, why don’t they talk to me that way?” However, that isn’t how life works. Sometimes, if you’ve been making decisions all day, you just want to come home and slump in front of the TV.’

Of course, working and living with the same person isn’t always a bad thing. ‘It can also be really sexy to learn that your partner is a whole other human being at work,’ says Emma. One person I spoke with would certainly agree: ‘Hearing and seeing them as a teacher blew my mind – how kind yet stern his voice was, what he was like playing games with the children. It filled my heart!’ Another says, ‘I am extremely attracted to my husband’s work personality. Now I struggle to concentrate sometimes when I can hear him talking.’

Good or bad, though, I am here to tell you that this dissolution of the work/home divide does get easier. Both my wife and I have always worked from home, so we’ve had years to get used to each other’s different personalities. Like when she types on her laptop so hard upstairs that I can hear it through the ceiling. Or when she hums tunelessly as she writes. These cute little personality quirks remind me that she is multilayered and fascinating in any situation. Then again, I just asked her what my work personality is and she replied ‘shrill’. So now, obviously, we have to get divorced.