I WISH HER ‘TIGER GRANNY’ WOULD BACK OFF

QOur 16-year-old daughter wants to choose art, psychology and maths for her Leaving Cert. She has always been passionate about art, but my mother-in-law is very pushy – a real ‘tiger granny’ – and says that it would be a complete waste because there are no careers in it. She was a doctor, as is her son – my husband. He was initially supportive of our daughter’s choices, but his mum has swayed him and now he is also asking if our daughter will be wasting her time. I think this is beginning to rub off on our daughter too, who is saying that maybe she should just do art as a hobby. But I think she would regret it if she gave up art. How do I help her make her own choices instead of having them made for her?

AIt sounds as if someone wants a third doctor in the family. But I agree with you – as your daughter is passionate about art, she could regret it if she gave it up. While for some people their Leaving Cert and degree choices may be focused on their future career, for others, who may not know what they want to do long term, they are far more likely to excel in a subject they love than one they think they ought to do. Her ‘tiger granny’ sounds very domineering, so ideally your husband should tell her gently to back off. Also remind him that students who choose certain subjects because they felt they should can be more likely to drop out or have to repeat the first year of college or university. They often then switch to the subject they wanted to do in the first place. Your daughter should be able to get good advice from her head of year or career guidance counsellor.

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