WHY IS SHE SO RUDE AND JUDGMENTAL?

Unfortunately, some people are determined to take offence or be difficult. If she wasn’t a family member, I would advise cutting her and her toxic

A close relative often

presence out. However, as you

gets the wrong end of

don’t want to upset her husband

the stick about matters in our

and she is unlikely to change, all

family – then takes offence

you can do is manage your

at an imaginary situation. She

reactions to her. If she sends

proceeds to message whoever

horrid messages, either don’t

she considers to be the

reply or say that you’re sorry she’s

instigator, in very unpleasant upset but that no offence was

terms. If you reply telling her intended. Don’t over-apologise

she has misunderstood and as she only sees her own agenda.

that her message is very If she replies, just ignore it. She

hurtful and upsetting, she will have nowhere to go if she

neither apologises nor backs doesn’t get a response. The next

down but rubs it in more. She time you see her, be charming.

has strong opinions and is Her controlling behaviour could

very vocal about them while suggest mental health issues. Try

being totally intolerant and to talk to her husband gently

judgmental of others. We and tactfully. If he also finds her

are constantly walking on difficult, it might pave the way

eggshells. We are close to her for him to stand up to her or to

husband, but we just don’t get help or counselling if he feels

know how to cope with her. he needs it.

CONTACT CAROLINE Write to Caroline West-Meads at: YOU Magazine, PO Box 5332, Dublin 2, or email c.west-meads@youmagazine.ie. Caroline reads all letters but

regrets that she cannot answer them all personally. DON’T FORGET: BEL MOONEY’S ADVICE COLUMN APPEARS EXCLUSIVELY IN FEMAIL EVERY THURSDAY – ONLY IN THE IRISH DAILY MAIL

QA