I GET A LESSON IN REALITY...
26 MARCH 2022
In today’s This Life and in the feature on page 28 we hear about the politics involved in schooling nowadays. I’ve never regretted my decision not to have children, but reading these I feel like I should actively celebrate it. It sounds like an absolute minefield – the WhatsApp groups alone are terrifying. A couple of months ago, I went to my 10-year-old nephew’s football match. He’d started playing a few months before and asked me to go and watch him. I was delighted to be going along and even more proud when he scored a couple of cracking goals, but I was utterly horrified by some of the things I heard on the sideline – at his game and others around us. Some of the adults watching on spent the entire time shouting and screaming at not only their child (still not OK) but all of the children on the pitch. Bear in mind, my nephew’s team are under-11 and the next match over was even younger teams. One (I presume) dad in particular shouted at his son like he was playing in the World Cup final. My heart absolutely went out to the child. This kind of behaviour is neither encouraging nor helpful – and will only serve to embarrass him in front of the other players and spectators. I spoke to my brother after it and he said it happens all the time. Until I read these articles today I didn’t realise that this parental competitiveness continues into schools. It seems I was living in blissful ignorance not only about the battle for places in the more ‘recognised’ schools but also in terms of the one-upmanship in areas such as sport, music, art etc. The pressure must feel relentless for some children. I was further shocked to realise this is all just at primary school level and it gets worse at secondary level. At this stage, social media enters the fray, amplifying the already tough world our teens are trying to navigate. At that point, every mistake they make, every decision they take is under scrutiny not only from their immediate peers but everyone who has access to their social accounts. Maybe I’m looking back through rose-tinted glasses but I don’t ever remember my school days feeling this fraught. I guess one thing parents can do is try not to add to the load by putting too much pressure on their children. Encouragement and advice is always welcome, of course, but when it veers into stress-inducing then it’s not helpful at all. Teachers, too, seem to be the target of vitriol, and anonymous social media accounts are particular culprits for this. Yet another reason social media giants need to clamp down on their content. I’ve always agreed with the old adage that schooldays are the best days of your life and I hope that these developments don’t change that for children. There are enough problems and dramas later in life, they should be able to enjoy their youth before real life takes hold.
Enjoy the issue.