THE AGE OF THE APOLOGY

It feels like every day brings a new celebrity apology at the moment. Tiger Woods is one of the latest after he was seen passing a tampon to fellow golf star Justin Thomas as they played a round together recently. The insinuation was that Thomas was playing like a woman. ‘If I offended anybody in any way, shape or form, I’m sorry,’ Woods said by way of apology. ‘It was not intended to be that way.’ The wording of the statement is very interesting. Not, I’m sorry for what I did, but I’m sorry if anyone was offended, putting the blame on the people who took umbrage with it rather than himself. There’s a lot of such apologies about at the moment. Jeremy Clarkson had to issue one after saying a lawyer at a council meeting should ‘learn to spell’, James Corden offered one as a mea culpa after rude behaviour in a restaurant, while Matthew Perry was also forced to backtrack after writing bizarre things about Keanu Reeves in his autobiography. These apologies were equally wishy-washy and seemed to place blame on those who took offence rather than those who caused it. Which is why an apology issued by today’s cover star Amber Barrett and her ireland teammates last year was so refreshing. When video circulated of the squad singing the Wolfe Tones’ Celtic Symphony after securing their place at this summer’s World Cup, their apology was immediate and, most importantly, sincere. They faced all detractors – including one particularly dogged reporter on Sky Sports – and took all responsibility for their actions. Unlike some in the public eye who feel like once they have apologised for something, they will refuse to speak about it again, Amber still regularly addresses the issue and the fallout from it. She and her teammates can only be respected for this. So many public apologies are issued as a damage limitation measure against cancel culture, failing to address the incident that has caused offence and merely paying lip service to those baying for blood. Many are written by publicists and crisis management experts, not even expressing the feelngs of the person they’re representing, but rather protecting their reputation. A sincere apology will always be stronger than one released because someone feels they have to rather than feeling that they want to. In a diverse world, there’s always a chance that someone will take offence to something you say or write and, of course, you can’t please all of the people all of the time. But if something you say or do causes real hurt to somebody else, then you need to take responsibility for that. If it’s something you feel passionately about then engage in a polite, civilised debate with them. If you realise that your words or actions were wrong or genuinely caused offence, then apologise. Sincerely. Put the onus on you, not them.

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