ROSIE GREEN Say tease: the subtle art of the seductive selfie
‘Thirst trap.’ This is the response my poolside photo elicited from a guy I was seeing.
‘Please explain,’ I replied.
A thirst trap, he told me, is a picture deliberately designed to sexually entice the recipient. ‘And your bikini bridge is a perfect example.’
‘Bikini bridge?’
Reader, I obviously had a lot to learn. Apparently, the bikini bridge occurs when the stretching of knicker material over the hips creates a slight gap between the fabric and the lower abdomen and thus hints at easy access to your… well, you know.
Now, I’ll confess I didn’t know that bikini bridges or thirst traps were a thing until that moment. But I was more than aware, thanks to my 40-something forays into dating, of the power of a flirtatious image. And I could see how famous women deployed them on Instagram to incendiary effect, with a single picture sparking an inferno of fire emojis.
Some thirst traps are subtle, revealing the soft curve of a cleavage, say, while others are more, erm, obvious. Think back-arched bodies, eyes with a come-hither smoulder and scraps of diaphanous fabric masquerading as clothes. In women under the age of 30, a thirst trap often seems to involve a bottom impossibly rounded and prominent, possibly with a dusting of sand.
But don’t think there’s an age restriction on such pictures. Yes, there are 20-something models doing yoga poses that involve near nudity and eye-watering flexibility (a seductive combo) but there are also 60-plus women doing it too. Think the likes of Carol Vorderman – she regularly showcases her generous embonpoint and nipped-in waist in body-con workout wear.
And just in case you are considering thirst trapping yourself, it’s social media law that the caption below must then be something suitably self-deprecating to show humility – the digital equivalent of ‘What, this old thing?’
In the celebrity world thirst traps can be used to publicly rev up a fledgling romance or to enact revenge after a dumping – a very public message of ‘Look what you’ve lost’.
But anyone deploying them, famous or not, needs to be aware that thirst traps should be kept suggestive rather than explicit or they will douse desire rather than stoke it. (Those who want to be more obvious should switch social platforms to OnlyFans.)
To me thirst traps were a flirting mechanism, deployed more initially to spark interest than to fan flames of desire. And I can vouch for the fact they do deliver on teenage feels.
But get them wrong and they are a turnoff. Like a takeaway, they are satisfying in the moment but leave you feeling empty and a touch toxic in the long term. If I sent a flirty pic, I was always worried I might come across as needy or – that word no midlife woman wants to hear – tragic.
Men, in my limited experience, get them wrong. Most women I know like subtle – the hint of bronzed biceps in a tight-fitting (but not sprayed-on) T-shirt; perhaps a holiday shot of a muscular chest or a David Beckham-esque manly forearm. What we definitely do not want is full frontal.
Men also always forget to curate their surroundings. Guys, you could have the rig of Channing Tatum and the face of
Brad Pitt – but take a selfie in a bathroom with bad strip lighting plus a glimpse of your dirty smalls and any lust shrivels like a salted slug.
Now I’m two years into a relationship, my thirst-trap pictures have reduced to a trickle. These days, seductive images are more likely to be a screenshot of a sink-in-able sofa on offer, a picture of inviting pool loungers at a hotel I’d like to visit or delicious-looking foodstuffs I think we’d enjoy consuming.
Bikini bridge RIP.
MEN, IN MY EXPERIENCE, GET FLIRTY PICTURES WRONG