HOW TO MAKE A HOUSE A HOME

I have a new hero. On page 36 of today’s issue, Maddy Fletcher talks to Kerri Sackville, whose new book, The Life-Changing Magic of a Little Bit of Mess, is like the anti-Marie Kondo. The latter spent years urging us all to tidy up and compartmentalise our lives before admitting that after three children, her own life was fairly upended and disorganised. At the start of the 2000s, I was living in California with an ex in his mother’s house. She was a great character, full of fun and mischief. There were always people coming and going to the house, and food and drink flowed liberally. I used to babysit her boyfriend’s children, two boisterous young boys, who loved coming over to visit. I didn’t realise quite why until one weekend I minded them at their own house as their mother was going away for a few days. In their own home, they behaved totally differently, as they were afraid to get in trouble for moving things out of place or damaging them. It was like a show house, standing stiff, with not a thing out of place. When I first got there, I presumed she’d done what we all do and cleaned up because she had a guest, but even when she’d been gone for a few hours, there still wasn’t a thing out of place as the boys put everything back as soon as they were finished playing with it. This may sound admirable but they actually became different people in that house, like all the fun had left them. While I 100% believe that children should be taught to respect their surroundings and look after their things, there must be some kind of middle ground that doesn’t leave them terrified to put something in the wrong place. I always remember my ex’s mother that weekend saying to me, ‘oh wait until you see her house, it’s so beautiful, it’s immaculate’ and it was. But I couldn’t wait to get out of it. It felt cold and soulless. It’s how I sometimes feel when I see immaculate homes on my social media feeds – I’m always wondering is there a pile of clothes or toys or dishes just out of sight. One prominent parental influencer has three young children yet all of her furniture and furnishings are white or cream. Like HOW?! There are no children in my house yet I wouldn’t even dare go for light colours. I love homes that feel lived in, that show the personality of the occupants. School-drawn pictures on the fridge, unposed photos on the wall, piles of football boots by the door – all these things tell a story about the things that are important to those who live there. Kerri Sackville talks about The Chair – you know the one that has never been sat on but instead plays host to clothes, towels, hats etc. Mine is more of a single bed – the one in the spare room. It has become something of a de facto wardrobe. Now I don’t need to feel guilty about it any more. Hurray!

Enjoy the issue.