Why I hate skinny jeans
The other morning I woke from a bad dream filled with anxiety. The cause of my distress? I dreamed I was trying to squeeze into a pair of skinny jeans once more. I detest them nearly as much as my other fashion bête noire – floral frocks.
Hence my determination to ignore the swirling reports that skinny jeans are making a return this year. Just when everyone had forgotten about them and was starting to look cool and relaxed in wide-leg and boyfriend jeans, the fashion industry decides to torment us all over again with these denim nasties.
Designers love to reinvent something old and call it new. So Prada and Miu Miu sent their models down the A/W24 catwalk squeezed into the tightest skinny jeans. There were even sightings of… jeggings. Has everyone lost their minds?
Why do I dislike this cut of jeans so much? For years, it was a plague, with women everywhere, no matter their body shape, squeezing into a torturous fit that makes thighs look huge and knees resemble cabbages, while also creating awkward wedgies and digging into waists. It’s taken stylists years of work to unpick them from our psyches.
While celebrity fans included Kate Moss, Katie Holmes and Alexa Chung, the harsh truth is that skinny jeans only look good on women with long, extremely slim legs. Period. If that isn’t you, do yourself a favour and stick with more forgiving high-waist, wide-legged options. I certainly will.
Speaking of looking good, here are some flattering trends I am excited about trying:
First up, making a big comeback for summer is the long, swishy pleated skirt, which looks so feminine with a blazer and ballet flats.
Another welcome return to the fashion fold is the slouchy tote to bung over your shoulder. Carrying a full-to-bursting bag stuffed with spare heels, a bottle of wine to share with a friend, laptop, phone charger, wallet, keys and make-up essentials is nothing to be ashamed of – Jane Birkin was known for stuffing and sporting the iconic totes named after her. And this pragmatic approach has inspired spring’s new bigger bag shapes.
The tactile softness of suede is a micro trend that’s come to the fore, with some lovely jackets and skirts to choose from on the high street.
The long leather trench is a fun twist on the spring staple.
Bottega Veneta’s drop ring and earrings have sparked an appetite for chunky silver and gold jewellery.