MY NEPHEW WANTS TO MAKE ME HOMELESS
QI am in my mid-70s and, three years ago, on my husband’s death, I discovered that he had got us massively into debt because of a secret gambling addiction. I had to sell the house and would have been homeless had it not been for my elder sister, also a widow, who kindly said I could stay with her. I have no children myself, but her lovely daughter, my niece, lived nearby and we all felt like a happy family. However, my sister died suddenly five months ago and I’m feeling overwhelmed by grief. Now my nephew, her son, who is like his late father – an unpleasant, arrogant drunk – is demanding
I move out. Thankfully, my sister (a retired solicitor) had the foresight to change her will, giving me the right to live in her house until my death, so he has no legal power to force me out. However, he says that I am a freeloader staying in a house that is legally half his and that I must leave so that it can be sold. My niece says to ignore him, but I’m not sleeping and feel ill because of the stress.
AYou have had to cope with a very upsetting series of events and are now being bullied by your own flesh and blood. Firstly, it must have been devastating to find out only after your husband’s death that he had a major gambling addiction – along with the fact that he was perhaps quite different to the man you thought you knew. Then you lost your home and now you are also grieving for your sister. Your nephew sounds greedy and heartless and, yes, if your brother-in-law was like this, too, perhaps the apple hasn’t fallen far from the tree. Sadly, most fall-outs after a death are to do with money. I wonder if his outbursts usually occur when he has been drinking and if, indeed, he has an alcohol problem like his father. Perhaps he has financial difficulties and is worried about money, but please don’t let him make you feel guilty. You and your sister were clearly very close and she wanted you to have peace of mind in your final years – therefore he should be respectful of her wishes. Thank goodness your niece is helping you stand up to him, but I think you need further support. Your nephew’s behaviour might even be classed as harassment, so do contact a solicitor and ask them for advice. It could be that a sharp warning letter to your nephew spelling out your legal rights might make him back down. But you also need help
He says I’m a freeloader and must leave so the house can be sold
His behaviour might even be classed as harassment
to cope with the emotions surrounding this. You are still grieving for your sister and your husband so please reach out to a charity such as hospice foundation.ie for bereavement counselling. Also see your GP as well as talking to a pharmacist for help with sleeping. Anyone affected by this letter concerning a loved one’s gambling addiction can contact gamblingcare.ie.