SHOULD I DROP THIS SUCCESSFUL FRIEND?

QI am in my early 50s and was friends at university with a woman who now has a very successful media career. We have seen each other on and off over the years and have always got on well, but increasingly we have less in common. She’s very generous and offers to pay for drinks, dinner, taxis, etc, but it can feel patronising. Recently I went to one of her glamorous parties where I met some of her flashy friends and felt so out of place. We studied the same subject at university but, while I have a career that I enjoy, I didn’t get the breaks that she did, and my partner and I constantly have to budget. It’s so hard not to be jealous, and I wonder if I should just quietly stop seeing her.

AI have sometimes wondered how it must feel to have been best friends with someone like Taylor Swift growing up. I know your friend is not at this level of success but, even so, I think it is hard not to be a little jealous of a contemporary who has hit the big time. So don’t be too hard on yourself. And, importantly, don’t ‘compare and despair’. It is really difficult for many people financially at the moment, so you’re not alone. Remember too that many trappings of success are just that – traps. The trap of not knowing if people like you for yourself or for your money and success; the trap of always having to network and go to events when sometimes you would rather be at home on the sofa. It would be sad to end a friendship of 30-plus years, so perhaps back off a little but not completely. Do, however, work on your self-esteem. The true worth of a person is valued by their character, not their achievements.