Full steam ahead Joan

THE formidable Joan Collins says she doesn’t force husband number five, Percy Gibson, to ‘do the hoovering or the washing up’, but adds: ‘There are rules for living with Joan Collins.’ Meanwhile, Percy, who’s 32 years her junior, says: ‘There are days when her sexiness and her beauty hit me like a freight train.’ Correct answer. Especially when I’d imagine La Collins would be well capable of hitting him like a freight train herself. NEITHER Bono nor The Edge emerge smelling of roses from a new book about their troubled Spider-Man musical. It claims that the diminutive singer’s response when challenged about songwriting delays included ‘shifting uncomfortably in his chair’. In fairness, it might just have been that his legs weren’t long enough for his feet to touch the floor. WE’RE told that the Central Bank will apply for court permission to allow the tax payer-rescued Permanent TSB to take over Newbridge Credit Union, one of the country’s largest. This initiative will no doubt alarm every credit union member in the country, but given reports that up to €70million of State money will be needed before Permanent TSB go in, it is a matter of grave concern for us all. Correct me if I’m wrong, but does this scenario not sound awfully familiar? ACCORDING to reports yesterday, Bertie Ahern has received hate mail, suffered verbal abuse and even been physically threatened in public over recent weeks. One source is quoted as saying he is ‘unfazed’ by these incidents, though. One of the many benefits of having a brass neck, presumably. EXPECT awkward moments across the land next weekend. Now Love/Hate and Downton Abbey have come to an end, couples may have to talk to each other again...