JONATHAN CAINER

PEOPLE, understandably, are worried about the state of the world, but we’re in no worse condition now than we were. We’re just more aware of what could go wrong. Ultimately, that’s positive, as are the recent completions of retrograde phases for Jupiter and Mercury. Earth can now be thought of as a car whose brakes have stopped sticking, whose engine is running smoothly and whose steering wheel has become less erratic. The question is what are we driving towards next? We all get a say in that. The next destination is simply the one favoured by the most hearts.

ARIES Mar21 — Apr20 ‘KNEE deep in flowers we’ll stray, we’ll keep the showers away.’ More today from the 1929 hit song Tiptoe Through The Tulips, a lovely piece of melodic fluff about the alleged romantic benefits of proceeding discreetly. Is that all you need do now? Must you merely ensure that no one notices, while you tread a delicate path towards the fulfilment of a desire? Not necessarily! Indeed, there is doubt about why something needs to be kept a secret. It may be much wiser to announce your intention loudly and proudly. I have important news about the big changes due to happen in your life. Your latest week ahead forecast is ready. Call 1550 511 611.

TAURUS Apr21 — May21 PEOPLE aren’t always very nice to one another. Rarely, though, do they act with open animosity. Generally, they pretend to be nice as pie and then, while observing plenty of polite protocol and smiling all the time, they set about thwarting one another’s ambitions and undermining their authority. And when confronted with an accusation of unfair behaviour, they deny it vehemently. Somewhere in your world now, someone is pursuing an antagonistic agenda. Somehow, their anger needs to be forgiven and then met with love. I have important news about the big changes due to happen in your life. Your latest week ahead forecast is ready. Call 1550 511 611.

GEMINI May22 — June22 SUCCESS, we are often told by folk who appear to know their stuff, is all about plans. We need to learn to anticipate life’s challenges and obstacles and then, using our intelligence and experience, we should prepare ourselves with strategies and other mechanisms to ensure triumph over the forces of chaos and anarchy. It may sound fine in theory but, actually, it is a more certain recipe for stress-related heart failure than a diet of cream cakes. Really, today, you just need to relax and adapt. I have important news about the big changes due to happen in your life. Your latest week ahead forecast is ready. Call 1550 511 611.

CANCER June23 — July23 SO often, when we try to get it right, it seems as if we end up getting it wrong. If only this were some kind of universal law, we could all relax. We could assume that it works just as well in reverse and then set off with a deliberate intention of getting it wrong. Hey presto! That perverse cosmic rule would come into play and, as if by magic, we would get it right! But there is no such law – or rule. Our only hope is to do our best and then strive to cross-examine ourselves. Seek a better way to proceed today, and you will find one. I have important news about the big changes due to happen in your life. Your latest week ahead forecast is ready. Call 1550 511 611.

LEO July24 — Aug23 WE all like life to be predictable, yet we don’t want it to be too predictable. We enjoy an element of surprise. We draw creative stimulation from a hint of the unexpected. As long as we feel comfortably confident that we recognise a basic pattern, we can adapt to variations on the familiar theme. We just don’t like it when the theme itself is confusing. But are you, in your effort to make sense of an apparent nonsense, superimposing an inappropriate imaginary structure? Be wary of certainty today. I have important news about the big changes due to happen in your life. Your latest week ahead forecast is ready. Call 1550 511 611.

VIRGO Aug24 — Sep23 NOT only do I have a policy of not predicting lottery wins, I am nervous about even so much as mentioning this. When some people turn to their daily forecast, they can become so excited by even the merest glimpse of the word ‘lottery’, that their eyes glaze and their imagination takes over. But you are a realistic, intelligent Virgo. I have decided to trust your ability to understand me. Your outlook is encouraging, especially if you now direct your energy towards the attainable, rather than the miraculous. I have important news about the big changes due to happen in your life. Your latest week ahead forecast is ready. Call 1550 511 611. LIBRA Sep24 — Oct23 THE world sometimes seems like a giant Sudoku puzzle in which the right clues have been printed against the wrong grid. No matter how blessed in numeracy we may be, it is unfair to expect anyone to rise to a challenge to which there is no solution. Unless, perhaps, in a flash of inspiration we suddenly see the shape that the missing correct grid ought to take. Or perhaps we see it printed on the next page of the puzzle book and can recognise the compiler’s error. You are about to be very smart. I have important news about the big changes due to happen in your life. Your latest week ahead forecast is ready. Call 1550 511 611.

SCORPIO Oct24 — Nov22 ALTHOUGH some small children have been heard to speak about their memories of the world they knew before they were born, and various spiritual psychics tell similar stories, no real research has been done. Still, though, it is hard to imagine that any souls on the threshold of human incarnation ever said: ‘Oh yes please, send me to Earth. I can’t wait to get all those bills, face all that pressure and deal with all those idiotic people.’ You came here for something bigger and better than all that, as soon you will be reminded. I have important news about the big changes due to happen in your life. Your latest week ahead forecast is ready. Call 1550 511 611.

SAGITTARIUS Nov23 — Dec21 A 30,000YEAR-OLD virus has been thawed out by scientists in Siberia. It can only affect single-cell amoeba. It doesn’t threaten a human epidemic of prehistoric flu, but it illustrates an important point. Grumpy moods, anger and fear can each be thought of as a form of virus. They can pass from person to person all too easily and wreak psychological havoc. This week, keep them in cold storage, we never know when they may be revived. Yours can now be cured and conquered. I have important news about the big changes due to happen in your life. Your latest week ahead forecast is ready. Call 1550 511 611.

CAPRICORN Dec22 — Jan20 ‘IT is better and more satisfactory to acquit a thousand guilty persons than to put a single innocent one to death.’ So said the great philosopher Maimonides over 1,000 years ago. His words of wisdom have echoed through the centuries, though sadly they have still to reach the ears of those who make the laws of the lands who uphold the barbaric practice of capital punishment. The consequences of a miscarriage of justice in your world now, are somewhat less severe but still, they can and should be avoided. I have important news about the big changes due to happen in your life. Your latest week ahead forecast is ready. Call 1550 511 611.

AQUARIUS Jan21 — Feb19 TRAINEE sales people are taught that an objection is a buying signal. Even if a potential customer thinks they are simply being polite by explaining their reason, they are revealing what is going on in the back of their mind. So the phrase: ‘I’d love to sign this contract but my boss would not allow it,’ can be met with the response: ‘Well, what would we have to do to make your boss change his or her mind?’ The barrier to progress in a key area of life may be your reluctance to persist past a certain point. I have important news about the big changes due to happen in your life. Your latest week ahead forecast is ready. Call 1550 511 611.

PISCES Feb20 — Mar20 THE famous Japanese researcher Masaru Emoto once set out to prove how our subtle moods and intentions can alter the molecular structure of water. Conventional science is probably sniffy about this work, just as it is about all esoteric subjects. But I found him to be clearly clever and sincere. If water does have ‘emotional recall’, who knows what else in your world may still carry the resonant echo of some past struggle. Life now brings you a chance to purge a memory and replace it with a genuine, justified, hope. I have important news about the big changes due to happen in your life. Your latest week ahead forecast is ready. Call 1550 511 611.