JONATHAN CAINER

THE result of Britain’s general election is, agree the experts, impossible to predict. So, here’s a contest that’s too close to call. No logical process will shed light on it. Surely, then, this is the ideal time to call upon mystical means of divination? Perhaps so, if you believe in predestination. But all the forecasting I do presupposes the existence of free will. Astrologers must empower their clients to negotiate with fate. We should all see the cosmos as a democratic institution, not a dictatorship. That raises a fascinating possibility. I shall explain this tomorrow.

ARIES

Mar 21 — Apr 20

YOU can’t remember everything. You can’t be expected to consider every detail and allow for the consequence of every choice. Nor do your superpowers include an ability to fix any inadvertent omission. And it’s not just you who can’t do the impossible. The world is full of such folk. The only ones who sometimes achieve it are those who temporarily forget they can’t – and they rarely last. So don’t push yourself too hard this week. But don’t entirely give up on the impossible, either. It’s May! I’ve recorded your special, in-depth prediction for the whole of the month. For uplifting news, call 1550 511 611.

TAURUS

Apr 21 — May 21

ONCE, phone calls were pleasing to receive. The bell would tinkle and we would rush to answer, happy to hear a friendly voice on the line. And even if we got the occasional sales call, we could at least complain about the interruption and say: ‘No.’ Now, robots rule the world and pester us all. If one calls you today, it might say: ‘Congratulations! You have been selected to take part in a week that restores your faith in human nature and your sense of power over apparent inevitability.’ Even if you don’t usually call your in-depth phone forecast, you need to hear your NEW May prediction. Call 1550 511 611.

GEMINI

May 22 — June 22

ARE you the bee’s knees? The cat’s pyjamas? The best thing since sliced bread? Don’t be bashful. Someone thinks you are. Why should they be wrong? Why should their opinion not count for everyone else’s? The very idea it might not is an insult to them – let alone to you! You are good. You are made of the right stuff. You’ve got a lot going for you. Of course, confidence isn’t all you need in order to make sure you are successful this week. But we can start with that. Please keep reading. Your in-depth, NEW May forecast could be one of the most rewarding calls you ever make: 1550 511 611.

CANCER

June 23 — July 23

HOW was your weekend? Did it contain more celebration and festivity than you expected? Might there have been a wee bit of over-indulgence, too? Let us hope so because, if nothing else, recovering from all that will inhibit you from making a last-dash effort to honour the spirit of the Full Moon. Not that the Full Moon is all about having a wild time. It can also herald tense or seemingly crazy developments. Much of what occurs this week may seem a little mad. But none of it need be too harmful. Seize your chance to understand your horoscope and discover how to assure success in May: 1550 511 611.

LEO

July 24 — Aug 23

WHO rules your roost? Who lays down the law? Whose word is the one that carries authority? Even if there may be times when you doubt the extent of your status and influence, the Full Moon blesses you with all the potential power you could require. Let us remember, too, that the person who wears the trousers doesn’t ever have to wear actual trousers. All such sexist idioms and assumptions aside, it looks clear that you are going to be the boss this week. Please keep reading. I’ve taken a good look at your forecast for May and I have great things to tell you. Call 1550 511 611.

VIRGO

Aug 24 — Sep 23

PEOPLE who think they have all the answers must take care to avoid being asked too many questions. And because such a mood of certainty can be achieved only if accompanied by a state of denial, they must have to persuade themselves they are doing no such thing. Oh, what tricky lives the arrogant lead. The humble have it so much easier – apart, that is, from the disconcerting sense of doubt that occasionally besets them. But inwardly, secretly, you know everything you need to know this week. Welcome to May! Your prediction for the next few weeks is ready. For inspiring insight, call: 1550 511 611.

LIBRA

Sep 24 — Oct 23

‘I DON’T care too much for money, money can’t buy me love.’ So sang The Beatles, more than 50 years ago. But then they also covered the song Money (That’s What I Want). Today, most of us are impaled on the horns of the same dilemma. We are anxious for our lives not to revolve around something so base and superficial. Yet when the rent needs paying . . . well, the Full Moon suggests that’s the story of your life this week. You’ll get at least some of what you wish you didn’t need. It’s May! I’ve recorded your special, indepth prediction for the whole of the month. For uplifting news, call 1550 511 611.

SCORPIO

Oct 24 — Nov 22

THE annual Full Moon in your sign speaks of intense yearnings and longings arising deep in your heart. It describes a strange mixture of power and vulnerability. It puts you in a position that makes you feel uncomfortable yet, at the same time, it awakens a sense of deep confidence as you begin to realise you may be closer than you think to something you have long wanted. This won’t necessarily be the easiest week you’ve ever had, but it may yet turn out to be one of the most rewarding. Even if you don’t usually call your in-depth phone forecast, you need to your NEW May prediction. Call 1550 511 611.

SAGITTARIUS

Nov 23 — Dec 21

WHY is it that some of us seem to be so reluctant to tell each other the truth? We employ polite euphemisms. We dance round tricky topics. We justify little white lies, even when they aren’t so little and may be perceived, by those with a more critical eye, as possessing a murkier hue. The answer is simple. Because so many of us can’t face or handle the truth. How much truth is it safe for you to tell this week? As much as you are willing to hear in return. Please keep reading. Your in-depth, NEW May forecast could be one of the most rewarding calls you ever make: 1550 511 611.

CAPRICORN

Dec 22 — Jan 20

POLITICIANS love to promise us they will change things if only we vote them into power. But one thing they will never change is other politicians insisting that what they have changed – or want to change – is the wrong thing to change and that only they will make the right changes. What kind of change do you feel that you need to see in your world? And who do you think is most likely to deliver this? Your only hope is to vote for the person who you can see looking back at you from the mirror. Seize your chance to understand your horoscope and discover how to assure success in May: 1550 511 611.

AQUARIUS

Jan 21 — Feb 19

AT CHARITY fundraising events, people sometimes hold a three-legged race. The left foot of one contestant is tied to the right foot of another and the pair must run as one. While some are better than others at such challenges, these games show us how tricky certain forms of co-operation can be. You are trying to make progress in an area where it would be much easier if you had only your own needs and issues to contend with. Yet despite that, success is possible this week. Please keep reading. I’ve taken a good look at your forecast for May and I have great things to tell you. Call 1550 511 611.

PISCES

Feb 20 — Mar 20

DOES someone know more than you? Are they smarter, better informed, more deeply experienced? Or do they just think that they are? Or do you, perhaps, just think that this is what they think? Constructive collaborations rarely occur when two people are trying to outdo each other. If there is animosity or antipathy between you and someone else, this week brings you an opportunity to be bigger than that, to rise above it, to put it behind you. One such small generous gesture could yet produce a great result. Welcome to May! Your prediction for the next few weeks is ready. For inspiring insight, call: 1550 511 611.