JONATHAN CAINER

Dear Jonathan, I don’t know if I believe in astrology but I like your philosophy, that the heavens don’t dictate every aspect of our lives. Yet this seems to be absent from all you have said about the horoscope of Princess Charlotte. You suggest her future is fated. Surely she has free will? Amy

Dear Amy, I rather fear the greater an individual’s celebrity status, the less free will they have! Most of us can at least choose whether or not to seek fame and fortune. Royals are born into both. I suspect that gives them far less choice.

ARIES Mar21—Apr20

NOT all seemingly tough situations turn out to be impossible to deal with. Some have surprisingly simple solutions once we recognise them. So, precisely what might prevent us from seeing these? Fear, anxiety or negative expectation tend to be among the most likely culprits. Today, before you let yourself to dwell too long on how bad things will be if they go wrong, take time to consider the possibility that there might yet be a hidden, delightfully easy way to ensure they turn out fine. Uncertain? I’ve recorded a very special message for you. Give me four minutes and I’ll give you the key to your future. Call 1550 511 611.

TAURUS Apr21—May21

NATURE’S abundant splendour holds forth the promise of protection and support for everyone. There are more than enough resources to go round, though some of us find their way to them almost a little too easily, whereas others have to hunt harder to attain their share of the bounty. You may have recently started to wonder why you seem to have such limited access to the rewards of the material world. Today you may discover that some of these, at least, are now busily making their way towards you. Anxious? I’ve recorded a very special message for you. Give me four minutes and I’ll give you the key to your future. Call 1550 511 611.

GEMINI May22—June22

IF LITTLE things count for a lot, what do big things count for? Do we all read too much into subtle signs and signals, or overanalyse situations we ought to take at face value? Might we all be happier if we engaged our intellects less often? Ah, but am I not now engaging your intellect by asking you all these questions? Today something in your life deserves serious thought. But it’s not so serious that it doesn’t have a lighter side. It is not just the devil that’s in the detail. Confused? I’ve recorded a very special message for you. Give me four minutes and I’ll give you the key to your future. Call 1550 511 611.

CANCER June23—July23

Venus rarely remains in one sign for more than a few weeks. Which is probably a very good thing because if this were a celestial force we could rely on, we might either take it for granted or find ourselves overwhelmed by the intense side-effects of such a strong astrological influence. Venus is currently blessing you with almost hypnotic charm. Like an experienced professional hypnotist, you can mesmerise with little more than a tone of voice or sidelong glance. Just be careful not to do it by accident. Worried? I’ve recorded a very special message for you. Give me four minutes and I’ll give you the key to your future. Call 1550 511 611.

LEO July 24 — Aug 23

AT BREAKFAST time, in many western cultures, pieces of bread are toasted, then spread with butter and conserves. Once in a while, even the most careful cook will accidentally drop a piece of this food on the way to the table. Some strange, seemingly perverse universal law will cause the toast to fall so its sticky surface faces the floor. But it doesn’t always have to be that way. Whatever today can be seen as the equivalent of such a process in your life, will turn out jam side up. Uncertain? I’ve recorded a very special message for you. Give me four minutes and I’ll give you the key to your future. Call 1550 511 611.

VIRGO Aug 24 — Sep 23

SOME people take sugar in their tea. It might not be much, but if their drink is served with insufficient sweetener, they will turn up their nose. Much in life comes down to taste. On this matter, don’t underestimate someone’s sensitivity. Nor have we the right to judge and ask, ‘Why do you prefer things this way or that way?’ Judging by the volume of a complaint you are hearing now, something significant needs to alter. But perhaps it requires only a trivial adjustment. Anxious? I’ve recorded a very special message for you. Give me four minutes and I’ll give you the key to your future. Call 1550 511 611.

LIBRA Sep 24 — Oct 23

THEY say: ‘There is no such thing as bad weather, only clothing that is inappropriate for the climate.’ There is some truth in that, though it’s of little comfort when we find ourselves overdressed for the heat or underdressed for the cold. Sometimes, some of us deliberately don outfits that would be most suitable for the weather we wished we were set to experience, rather than the kind experts forecast. I’m a forecaster now. I’m telling you to put on your coat of patience. You’ll be glad of it Confused? I’ve recorded a very special message for you. Give me four minutes and I’ll give you the key to your future. Call 1550 511 611.

SCORPIO Oct 24 — Nov 22

SOME of us are old enough to remember when we thought computers would one day make all our lives easier. We had no idea how much frustration life in the electronic world would bring. Should the inventor of the internet be hailed as a hero, or blamed for all our strife? In your life now, it is easy to point an accusing finger at a source of stress. Yet didn’t this come into your world with the best of intentions and the highest of hopes? Hidden within what’s bad is still something that is very good indeed. Worried? I’ve recorded a very special message for you. Give me four minutes and I’ll give you the key to your future. Call 1550 511 611.

SAGITTARIUS Nov 23 — Dec 21

SOME people only feel happy when they have clearly understood their situation. They like to know ‘what’s what’ and why. Few Sagittarians are among their number. You enjoy life most intensely when, wrestling with a seemingly impossible challenge, you only just manage to prise triumph from the jaws of apparent disaster. So you should be happy enough now. It’s all going to come out all right; it always does, doesn’t it? And it will. Uncertain? I’ve recorded a very special message for you. Give me four minutes and I’ll give you the key to your future. Call 1550 511 611.

CAPRICORN Dec22—Jan20

TODAY, instead of a forecast, let’s have a quiz. What comes after the rain? What eventually follows a low tide? And when is the darkest hour? You know the answers and there is a reason why you know them. From an early age we’ve been equipped to cope with life’s stresses and strains by learning to remember that undesirable circumstances are invariably seasonal or cyclical. What then makes you suspect that a current situation will remain as it is forever? Have faith, it will move on. Anxious? I’ve recorded a very special message for you. Give me four minutes and I’ll give you the key to your future. Call 1550 511 611.

AQUARIUS Jan21—Feb19

‘IF YOU can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen.’ That’s what all the smart alecs say. But what if you were hungry, where else would you find food? And how does anyone ever know how hot the kitchen is going to get until they start cooking? And what if all you need is for someone to open the kitchen window or turn on the air-conditioning? You are now contemplating drastic solutions and daunting problems. You may yet find much simpler ways to get what you need. Confused? I’ve recorded a very special message for you. Give me four minutes and I’ll give you the key to your future. Call 1550 511 611.

PISCES Feb20—Mar20

IF YOU don’t think you can, you probably can’t. Far better to be not entirely sure, but willing to give it a try. Over-confidence has perils, but selfdoubt is more toxic. Right now, you are looking at a situation no one can fairly assess as too many issues are unknown. That may not be grounds to believe you’re suddenly able to attain the impossible, but nor is it a reason to give up, walk away and assume the worst. Call on your sense of adventure and give it your best shot. Worried? I’ve recorded a very special message for you. Give me four minutes and I’ll give you the key to your future. Call 1550 511 611.