The hardest thing was giving the book to my mother. It’s a tough read
Racked with anxiety, Bressie struggled for years before opening up. Now he’s hoping to help others
with a human streak, were the people who really made the difference in my life. I went down every avenue you could think of – cognitive behaviour therapy, mindfulness, diet, exercise, medication – I did it all. Ultimately it was a combination of a few of them that got me to where I am today.’
With his rugby career in a downward spiral, Bressie once again changed tack, hoping that he could outrun his anxiety. As the frontman of The Blizzards it was adrenaline and alcohol that would now take centre stage, fuelling his depression and again sabotaging some important relationships.
‘I just kept assuming that if I changed direction then everything would go away,’ he recalls. ‘The start of The Blizzards was really cool but that was where I discovered I was drinking a lot of alcohol. I don’t think I ever had an alcohol problem because I am unbelievably wary of alcohol – I have seen too many friends killed by it and their families destroyed by it.
‘But when I got into the band, after a gig, the adrenaline was pumping and any chance of you sleeping was completely gone unless you drank or took a Valium, and that’s what I was doing. Then I realised that when you put that s*** into your body it reacts. Some people get chest infections, I got really depressed.
‘I know now that when I’m eating well and training hard and exercising, mentally I feel well – they are very much in tandem. Before I got offered The Voice I had my first ever mental breakdown. I don’t know what it was or why it happened but that night I ended up sleeping in a park. I think The Voice forced my hand a bit and I knew that if I wanted to keep working in television or anything with a public profile I had to deal with this.’
By creating Jeffrey, Bressie was able to face his demons and start taking control of his life. Six months into his time on The Voice Of Ireland he decided to go public – which had some unexpected consequences.
‘When I went public I got a release but I also realised some things. It allowed me recognise that I never let myself fall in love. I purposely sabotaged relationships and tried to justify that it was their fault when really it was mine. It allowed me make sense of the behaviours I have had in the past and that was a form of therapy in itself.
IWASN’T having any relationships because honesty was absent. The core of everything I do from now on will be based on honesty and loyalty, and I will stick to my values. It also shows how far I have come and that I can sit back and have some compassion for myself and be happy that I’m in place where I have relative control over my mind.’
As a celebrity Bressie is always in the public eye – and having a celebrity girlfriend also makes him a staple of the gossip pages. He has formed a close relationship with his other half, model Roz Purcell, and he admits that writing the book has only cemented their bond.
‘I wasn’t nervous giving it to Roz,’ he says. ‘ People kept asking us at the start why we were keeping so private about it – they might have an idea now. I think the second or third week I was with Roz I sat her down and told her about my mental health issues and her reaction was amazing. She said: “Okay, let’s deal with this one day at a time”, and that’s what we did. When I gave her the book I told her there was nothing that was going to shock her. I had told her nearly everything anyway but she was going to be upset reading it.
‘I think the book allows Roz to make sense of a lot of the behaviours I had in the past and some of the behaviours I might have now. Even when it comes to training for certain events, I am so focused now – I have to be because that’s therapy in itself. But she understands now why I’m like that and why it is a good thing.’
It’s clear that Bressie has come a long way from that perplexed teenager smothered in a cloud of depression and anxiety. He now wants to ensure that other young people are spared the silent suffering that he endured and is campaigning to have mindfulness introduced into the school curriculum.
‘I will not listen to a mother or father telling me that the academic process is more important than mindfulness,’ he says. ‘The academic side is worthless if your son or daughter can’t cope with their mental health.
‘It shouldn’t just be part of the curriculum, it should be prioritised. If I could go to school and do the Our Father and ten Hail Marys every day, then why can’t we do five minutes of mindfulness?
‘The problem is every time I have this conversation it turns political but it’s about humanity, not politics and statistics.
‘It’s hard to do what I do without getting into the political end of things but I will keep fighting.’ ÷
Me And My Mate Jeffrey is available now on Hachette Books Ireland. You can keep updated on all things Bressie by liking his page on Facebook or following him on Twitter, @nbrez.