Getting down and dirty in toys for these very big Boyz
DURING the boom there used to be a showcase at the RDS called Toys For Big Boys. It was an exhibition where wide- eyed chaps in Barbour jackets could f oam at t he mouth over souped-up supercars and outdoor hot tubs.
It was the ultimate celebration of largesse and was index-linked to the Celtic tiger. I have to admit it never really floated my boat. The thoughts of actually owning a car within a decent tax band that motored on diesel was the focus of my endeavour.
On Friday however, I finally understood the sort of buzz these petrol heads were inhaling, other than petrol fumes and Castrol GTX.
I was invited by Today FM’s Anton Savage Show to take part in a challenge which saw two members of Boyzone channel their inner men-at-work to take on Savage and fellow Today FM DJ Neil Delamere in a digger challenge.
When I got there the normally dapper radio host had ditched his trademark suited and booted image for a pair of Snickers workman’s trousers, so I knew he meant business. I can only hope that my son possesses the same wide-eyed look of pure joy when he enters the sitting room on Christmas morning as Anton had when he came face-to-face with the machines in question.
Not since Kevin’s parents arrived back in Home Alone has a face lit up so brightly. The contest, which took place in an old helicopter yard in the Naul in West Dublin, pitched the DJs against Keith Duffy and Shane Lynch in a KryptonFactor-meets-Top-Gear-style assault course on Bobcat mini diggers.
In a bid to raise €1,000 for charity, the challenges were concocted by Anton during an interview with Keith the previous week.
THE only way to describe Bobcats is they are half way between the digger toys you had as a child and the real things, but with PlayStation controls and the ability to do wheelies (I kid you not). The first challenge in front of the celebrities was the ‘pin challenge’, where you had to drop a lead pin into a pole in a Bobcat mini digger.
The second obstacle involved picking up three footballs with a thumb and bucket mini digger and posting them into a blue skip. The third game was an obstacle course where all four were time trialled driving through a maze in a skid steer loader. During the event, Keith Duffy said: ‘It is way too much fun. I have a new-found love for the Irish Water people digging up our roads now. As Lisa [Keith’s wife] says, the only difference between men and boys is the price of their toys. While honour is at Me stake, there are two really important charities that can benefit here, Irish Autism Action and Finn’s First Steps but it is anyone’s guess who will win.’
After three painfully slow rounds, the scores were tied, forcing the competition into a ‘sudden death’ race. But given the fact that Shane Lynch owns a JCB, his team was penalised with a 20-second handicap for the final game.
‘Just because I have a digger doesn’t mean I can drive these because the controls are the opposite,’ said Shane. ‘But I love driving ma- chines. This was great fun. I love using the JCB and my daughter, who is seven, can drive it too! So the penalty is a fair decision.’
In order to separate the teams, each member was challenged with a relay, moving tyres through an assault course before stacking them up on a pole using a mini excavator. But in what eventually emerged as a doomed partnership akin to Danny DeVito and Arnold Schwarzenegger in Twins, Neil Delamere’s poor performance cost the Today FM duo the charity prize. ‘I should say it was brilliant because the prize went to two great charities,’ Anton said. ‘But that’d be disingenuous — it was just brilliant. It was like being nine. The only thing that could have made it better would be if I’d known that Shane Lynch had his own digger,’ said Anton. ‘Or if I’d had enough wit to call the guys in Adare Machinery and borrow a Bobcat for a few days.’
Watch a video of the event on todayfm.com, but take it from me — if Bobcat assault courses are ever become part of the Olympics, the joy really is in the participation rather than the watching.