JONATHAN CAINER

ASTROLOGERS, no matter how good they may be, can’t tell their own fortunes or see their own futures. So, when I tell you my first- ever column of daily zodiac forecasts appeared on this day in 1986, you can be assured I had no idea that I’d still be writing them 30 years later. Nor did I know that the paper which had hired me would stop printing in the Nineties. Or that its demise would not mean mine! All I know is how I’ve enjoyed every moment. As for the future? I refer you to my opening remarks!

ARIES Mar 21 — Apr 20 ‘PEACE,’ say the wise, ‘is not just the absence of war.’ Peace is a state of mind, a way of being, a stillness or contentment, an awareness of the infinite power at the heart of creation. Well, that’s what they tell us. But do we listen? Aren’t we too busy worrying about our problems? Whatever threatens your peace this weekend, do yourself the greatest favour and take yourself closest to the resolution of a difficulty by finding an inner centre point and consciously seeking calm. Next week’s powerfully potent solar eclipse can have a huge impact on you. Your latest forecast is ready. Call 1550 511 611.

TAURUS Apr 21 — May 21 WE tell ourselves stories. We don’t notice how cleverly constructed those narratives are and how they have been unconsciously woven into arguments that support one particular view. We justify ourselves. We cite past examples as reasons why we will do this or that. As we chart a course to the future, we use immediate unfolding dramas and developments as landmarks. Yet you may now be reading too much into too little. Be open, this weekend, to a new view. How will the stunning solar eclipse change your life? Pick up the phone for your week-ahead forecast. Call 1550 511 611.

GEMINI May 22 — June 22 HARMONIOUS situations rarely hold our interest for long. They are like punctuation marks in sentences; needed every so often to help make sense of the rest. But a comma placed by Shakespeare is really no different from one in some dreary document of inconsequential authorship. It’s the stuff in between that makes the difference. Conflict may have its place, but there has been too much of it lately – by anyone’s standards. It is time to put a stop to it. Discover what next week’s solar eclipse means for you. Call your four-minute forecast for great news: 1550 511 611.

CANCER June 23 — July 23 ARGUMENTS are always better resolved than exacerbated. Conflicts that result in ‘decisive victories’ invariably leave the ‘losers’ disgruntled, which, over time, may give rise to further dispute. Can the ‘winners’ truly consider themselves to have won if they now face a situation that is likely to give rise to ongoing discomfort? Consensus is wonderful, as is patience. Where possible, this weekend, give a situation time to sort itself out. Everyone will be happier in the long run. I’ve got news you need to hear about next week’s powerful solar eclipse. For life-changing advice, call 1550 511 611.

LEO July 24 — Aug 23 WE may be creatures of habit and fans of familiarity, yet we’re also fascinated with innovation. We like the idea of it, but are nervous of the implication. What if it is too much and goes too far? Many successful pioneers have learned the subtle art of disguising a minor alteration as a major breakthrough. That satisfies the need to feel as if progress is being made while rocking as few boats as possible in reality. You may need to use a similar device this weekend. Next week’s powerfully potent solar eclipse can have a huge impact on you. Your latest forecast is ready. Call 1550 511 611.

VIRGO Aug 24 — Sep 23 WE are all here for a reason. Our lives have a purpose. We aren’t accidents, nor are we victims. But finding the purpose involves overcoming the temptation to see existence itself as some kind of mistake or a punishment. The challenge for everyone is to summon at least enough belief with which to recognise a reason. Your own positivity is the key with which you can solve every problem this weekend. You will be successful because that’s what you are meant to be! How will next week’s stunning solar eclipse change your life? Pick up the phone for your week-ahead forecast. Call 1550 511 611.

LIBRA Sep 24 — Oct 23 WE often do much the same thing from day to day. Yet didn’t someone wise once say, ‘The definition of insanity is to keep doing the same thing, expecting a different result’? Actually the origin of the quote is disputed. Many people echo it, none claim definitive authorship – so it is debatable whether the statement is wise or not! This weekend, if you do (and keep doing) what you know to be right and positive, you’ll get the result you expect. A right and a positive one. Discover what next week’s solar eclipse means for you. Call your four-minute forecast for great news: 1550 511 611.

SCORPIO Oct 24 — Nov 22 ‘ IF it ain’t broke, don’t fix it,’ goes the old saying. Wise but potentially confusing. How do we tell whether something is actually ‘broke’ or not? What if it’s barely functioning and we are inclined to accept this as satisfactory. What if, by chance, we get a glimpse of how much better it could be, then begin to realise some other things that could do with fixing? Take care, this weekend, not to make too many quick comparisons. An arrangement is working well enough for now. I’ve got news you need to hear about next week’s powerful solar eclipse. For life-changing advice, call 1550 511 611.

SAGITTARIUS Nov 23 — Dec 21 THERE is a faintly chaotic, gently anarchic influence at work this weekend. Little things seem to be making a big difference. Minor developments look set to have major consequences. Where you often feel in full charge of any situation, you keep encountering reminders of the limits you’re obliged to work within and restrictions you must respect. Need all that give rise to frustration? Not if you relinquish the idea that somehow you must be in control. Relax! Next week’s powerfully potent solar eclipse can have a huge impact on you. Your latest forecast is ready. Call 1550 511 611.

CAPRICORN Dec 22 — Jan 20 WILL you have reason, this weekend, to thank your lucky stars? Or perhaps you will just feel grateful for your innate intelligence and wisdom? Maybe it is only your natural ability to see solutions to problems that lets you avoid an awkward development? Perhaps you may be glad of a third party’s intervention? Might a friend or loved one be doing you some favours now? It doesn’t much matter where you direct your gratitude, just allow yourself to feel thankful. How will next week’s stunning solar eclipse change your life? Pick up the phone for your week-ahead forecast. Call 1550 511 611.

AQUARIUS Jan 21 — Feb 19 YOU are important to more people than you may realise. As well as friends and companions, even folk who hardly know you are aware of what a vital role you play in a sensitive situation and how you make a crucial contribution. Even if all they offer is psychological support, it is enough to make a difference at some subtle, yet essential, level. Events this weekend are about discovering that, simply by being open to the idea that the cosmos wants to help you, it helps you. Discover what next week’s solar eclipse means for you. Call your four-minute forecast for great news: 1550 511 611.

PISCES Feb 20 — Mar 20 WHAT happens when we put two and two together and keep making three? Do we need to go back to school? Or could this imply that we have finally reached a point of wisdom? It is one thing to grasp the idea that two of anything, plus two of anything else, equals four. But it isn’t always possible freely to substitute any old thing with any other. The factors that you find yourself weighing up, this weekend, are delicate and different. The conclusion you are reaching may not be logical, but it is valid. I’ve got news you need to hear about next week’s powerful solar eclipse. For life-changing advice, call 1550 511 611.