Scandinavian Dáil? What a load of Bull!
THERE’S a TV advert where a power secretary is answering a dozen ringing phones on her desk, firing off authoritative answers to the most obscure questions. The accompanying message is that Red Bull gives you wings.
But the bull is coming from the secretary herself, because one of her snappy answers is that there are 166 TDs in the Dáil. There aren’t – there are now 158, eight fewer than the previous House.
Animal thinks it’s a good analogy for all the stuff taking energetic wings this weeks, most of which doesn’t hold (ahem) water – whether of the Irish or taurine variety.
The first uncontained fizz was a l ot of oul’ guff about making parliament work properly, that we must have some sort of Borgen approach, a Scandinavian model, etc etc, with all deputies responsibly playing their part.
Would yiz ever get off the stage? They sacked all the TDs with a national focus and instead elected a whole sweep of local strokers.
Against that fact, who, exactly, is now going to swap the national for the European? The much- quoted Denmark has single-seat constituencies, while other countries have a list system, whereby candidates don’t actually have to ‘stand’ at all, and nor can they be turfed out in the same manner as us.
No, Animal sees Israel as being more relevant than Denmark. In the Knesset they frequently have multiparty coalitions and just as frequently share the job of prime minister. It’s actually no big deal, and reflects true partnership, thereby escaping what Pat Rabbitte calls the ‘iron rule of politics’ that the junior partner gets disproportionately punished by the electorate. This way they will both probably still be punished, as we have seen, but there will be a degree of safety in settling down together.
The greater fear they both have, of course, is letting in Sinn Féin as the CHARLIE Flanagan, pictured, can be pompous, and he was at his most magisterial when he lectured Cathal Mac Coille about government formation being the responsibility of all members ‘of the 158th Assembly’. He’s getting a little ahead of himself, by about 126 elections. This is the 32nd Dáil, and there are 158 seats. lead party in government in five years’ time. And Animal will be first against the wall in such a case, along with other ‘traitorous’ media, unless he manages to flee into exile somewhere with his family. Cuba, maybe?
Anywhere would be better than Grandfather Gerry’s Shinnerepublic! MICHAEL Healy-Rae gets the highest personal vote since the 1920s, exceeding Jack Lynch in 1977. ‘Doesn’t it just show you that the electorate in Kerry are great judges?’ he quips. MHR was hoarse on Monday, but it wasn’t from yeehawing. ‘I have just come from the doctor’s. I have a heavy chest infection,’ he confessed on Newstalk. He must now be trying to grab the votes of Tom Phlegming! ALL the abortion conscience people lost their seats. Not just the Renua trio of Lucinda, Billy Timmins and Brain-Freeze Flanagan, but also Peter Mathews, who ran as an Independent. Animal concludes that the old cohort of pro-lifers have paradoxically all died out. IS Jack Chambers the new Terence Flanagan? The selfregarding uber-liberal Twitterati have sharpened their keyboards because he said he doesn’t favour even having a referendum on the Eighth, never mind repeal. The Dublin West newbie is being savaged before he even sets foot in the chamber. RAY Butler lost his seat in the Meath West constituency. It’s a tough blow for him, but maybe he could ultimately come back as Ray Nua? NEXT Thursday is the first day of the Dáil and is one of the big set-piece days that everybody wants to be at, including some past deputies. But it looks like the usual perk of free parking on the grounds of Leinster House for former TDs and senators may have to be foregone. Animal overheard one usher asking another what to do if they approach the gates on Thursday, to which his more senior colleague said: ‘Just tell them they have to go elsewhere for the day that’s in it.’