How to help yourself and your loved ones with the trauma of a CANCER diagnosis
Complimentary therapies, counselling and even a conversation with other sufferers will allow you to take control...
IT’S a shocking statistic — one in three of us will suffer from cancer during our lifetime. But the good news is that survival rates are increasing and many people who are diagnosed manage to get back to good health.
Chemotherapy and radiotherapy are the normal treatments in hospital but are very harsh on the system, causing side effects like nausea and hair loss. This is why many believe looking after your mental and spiritual well-being is an essential part of recovery.
And did you know there are still ways you can exercise when you are receiving treatment for a cancer diagnosis?
There are a number of centres across Ireland who help those with a diagnosis - and their loved ones - make an emotional recovery from this devastating illness.
Mairead Mangan from ARC Cancer Care is a trained nurse who now heads the fundraising division for the charity.
When we meet in their centre on the South Circular Road, tea and buns are on the kitchen t able while i n one r oom acupuncture sessions are ongoing.
There are other areas where people are knitting and chatting and behind closed doors, one on one counselling is being offered.
Mairead is a trained nurse who knows full well the devastating effect a cancer diagnosis can have, as the illness has touched her family twice.
‘My husband Conor died from a brain tumour,’ she explains. ‘He collapsed one day out of the blue and that was the first time we knew there was something wrong.
My girls were only small — Aifric was three and Phillipa was 11 months.
‘We were only five years married so were still in the full flight of our honeymoon period. It was a very happy time for us all and then this happened.’
As a working nurse, Mairead thought she had seen everything but she admits no-one could have prepared her for the emotional fall-out.
‘It was a bolt out of the blue and we were devastated,’ she says. ‘My background was nursing but nobody could be prepared for that happening from an emotional point of view. Conor was an accountant, we were both young and working hard at our careers , so it was earth-shattering.’
And there was worse to come as the young family only had a little time together.
‘It was quite an aggressive tumour so he died two and a half years later age the age of 33,’ Mairead explains.
As a medical professional Mairead was shocked at the turmoil cancer had caused in her own life and the life of her beloved girls.
‘I decided to make a conscious decision to work in the area of cancer after Conor’s death and I did a research project on cancer patients and their carers and I found it very interesting.’
At the time Mairead was also working on a cancer helpline but she was then dealt another blow.
‘’In 2010 I went on holidays to Italy but when I came back I felt wrecked,’ she explains. I thought there was something amiss so I went to my GP for a blood test.’
The GP was concerned about the results so sent Mairead to St James Hospital where, after more tests, she was diagnosed with leukaemia.
‘It was a really bad time for me to be diagnosed,’ she says. ‘One of my girls was doing a final exam for her masters in Trinity and the other was doing her FE1s. And then they had already lost their dad.’
At the time Mairead was told the shocking news that she had just a 15 per cent chance of survival.
‘The treatment was rigorous — it took 18 months out of my life because the treatment for leukaemia is systemic and so is very gruelling,’ she says.’ It had adverse affects on my skin, I suffered hair l oss, mouth ulcers, stomach upsets.’
And it was during this time that she decided to fall back on her previous research and seek some positive emotional help for herself too by calling into ARC.
‘ARC takes the holistic picture into account. The services are meant for use as a complement to conventional medicine like chemotherapy and radiotherapy. It’s looking at the whole holistic picture and what people need.
‘I came to them for help and did some sessions here myself - I was so shocked and stunned at the diagnosis and the impact on the girls and my wider family.’
Mary Scarff, one of the counsellors at ARC, says after hospital treatment is the time when many begin to suffer the e motional i mpact of a diagnosis.
‘The impact comes at various different stages and various different levels. During the initial stages you might find yourself going into what we call the fright response’ where the person becomes numb to the emotions in order to manage what they are dealing with, otherwise they wouldn’t be able to do that.
‘So they go into what we call the reptilian response which is, ‘how do I survive this, how do I get through this, how do I come out the other end?’
‘That is their focus and this is why family members might think that the person is in denial about what is happening but the family member might be in a different place to the patient.
‘But what happens is when the person goes through the treatment they are maybe looking at a date on the calendar thinking that when they get there everything is going to be fine again, the prognosis is good. And then they reach that point and things are not the way they imagined them to be.’
This is the stage that people might then realise what they have gone through but often they are expected to just slot back into their pre-cancer lives like nothing has happened.
‘They are finally getting in touch with the emotions they buried during the hospital treatment and that is when they begin to finally realise what they have gone through and what it means. They need emotional support then,’ Mary stresses.
BY providing courses like stress management and one to one counselling we help people understand what they are going through and ways of managing it.
‘Family members might be saying, ‘we want you back the way you were’ but that is not going to happen as you have gone through a traumatic experience.’
After she got her health back, Mairead decided to apply for a job as head of fundraising in ARC to support others with cancer diagnoses. And she feels strongly that patients need other support and assistance for health, as well as getting their treatment from the hospital.
‘ARC helps people in so many different ways. We offer advice on nutrition, entitlements, what aids you can get,’ Mairead says.
We are looking after the mind as well as the body and letting people know also what services are available.’
‘I know a cancer diagnosis has a devastating effect on everyone and in the hospital setting they look after the medical stuff. They look after the radiotherapy the chemotherapy and a lot of the time there is ad hoc psychological support because there are so many people going through the system.
‘But I think people need help not only with their body but they also need to talk and come to terms with their diagnoses. Once you come to terms with that you will actually cope and live better and the outcomes will be better.’
Everything from mindfulness, yoga classes and massage to the Stanford University Survive And Thrive course, stress management groups, knitting circles and counselling are on offer at ARC’s two Dublin premises, all free of charge to those with or recovering from a c ancer di agnosis and t heir families.
But, you may ask, how can a knitting circle help if you have cancer?
‘It’s like a good cup of tea with friends,’ Mairead says. ‘You are sitting with people who have various diagnoses — everyone has gone through a cancer journey. Some are finished, and some are just starting so you can get tips and practical advice. And it is also a great support to know if you are newly diagnosed then you can meet people who are out the other side of treatment.’
Relaxation therapies are also very important to help the person with cancer get to grips with what they are feeling.
And yoga is a gentle exercise that can help you battle the ravages of chemotherapy while keeping your muscles in good shape.
‘Yoga is such a relaxing therapy,’ Mairead says. ‘It is very gentle but it does get people mobilised a bit. When going through chemotherapy, sometimes you can feel quite sick so this is very gentle exercise but it actually makes sure that you keep yourself in shape as well.’
Anxiety is a huge part of any diagnosis and sometimes it l asts beyond the all-clear as the spectre of recurrence looms large.
‘Sometimes that anxiety lasts for a long time,’ Mairead says. ‘So getting into that frame of mindfulness and into the moment does help.’
And what suits one person might not suit another but there are a range of therapies available.
‘You have to be very strong,’ Mairead says.’ Everyone’s situation is different but you have to be strong for your loved one, your children or other people in the family. So each person is different - some people don’t like the knitting club because they don’t want to talk to other people as they would rather talk to a therapist.
‘Other people love the group therapies and sharing their experiences with someone else.’
But one of the main things complementary therapies and counselling can do is hand some control back to the patient in regards to their own well-being.
‘ We are helping people take responsibility for how they feel,’ Mairead says.
‘It’s like anything else — if you feel you are in some kind of control and have the information to hand then you can deal with what’s happening in a better way.
‘We complement conventional medicine — this is not using one or the other.’
Among the courses is the Climb4Clare system which helps children come to terms with a cancer diagnosis in the family.
‘Climb is for five to 11-year-olds and it allows them to explore their feelings when a significant adult has been diagnosed with cancer. A lot of adults and parents will try and protect their children but children always sense there is something wrong and some might blame themselves for creating the problem. Climb this allows children to explore their feelings through play. It doesn’t normalise cancer but it makes it part of their life.’
PERRINE de Montard is an acupuncturist who offers her services to ARC for free twice a week, treating patients for various chemotherapy side effects.
‘People come here I think because it helps them to relax,’ Perrine says. ‘It’s a very good way to control the side effects. There are quite a lot you might have — from muscular pains to nausea.
‘You have physical pain but there is also mental pain as well as I see patients who are very anxious and nervous. Acupuncture can help relieve the pain and also the anxiety if it is something people want to try.’
And Perrine says the effects are immediate.
‘I see people coming in her very low and a few weeks later they are a very different person.’ she says. ‘I have been coming here two mornings a week for the last two years and it is so nice to be able to give like this. I think everyone should do something like this. I do think it is very rewarding.’
And with Ireland increasing its survival rates, the prognosis for cancer care here is good. But, as Mary Scarff insists, there’s more to recovery than just the physical symptoms.
‘We help people find what will nourish them, going f orward, whether that is practical advice or a cup of tea with friends.
‘Beyond what is happening in the body, there is something else inside of us that keeps us alive and that’s what we at ARC want to nourish.’