Exposés? This is just a love-in and a free plug for celebrities
XPOSÉ: THE BIGGEST CELEBRITY INTERVIEWS
FUNNY how time flies by. Let me give you an example. According to the extensive research that I have just carried out courtesy of Wikipedia, it is more than a decade since Xposé first graced our television screens.
It turns out that the anniversary actually passed last April in a pretty much unnoticed manner, so far as I am aware. I certainly don’t recall hearing about Glenda Gilson and the gang being invited up to the Áras to break bread with Michael D and Sabina in honour of the great occasion.
Nor do I remember there being street parties, fireworks displays and brass bands. And this, let’s not forget, in a country prone to putting on a national day of celebration for even the most piddling of events. We should all be thoroughly ashamed of ourselves.
That said, I must confess that I’ve only seen Xposé a handful of times throughout all those years. Two of those occasions were when I was writing about it in these pages; the others were when I switched it on by accident while flicking through the channels.
The plain fact of the matter is that it is broadcast at a time when I would usually expect to be in a licensed premises with my nose stuck firmly into a foaming tankard of ale. Even if it was shown later, though, I’ve only a limited appetite for watching vaguely familiar-looking presenters wittering on about D-list personalities whose names mean nothing to me.
But the big build-up to Xposé: The Biggest Celebrity Interviews made me think that maybe I’d been underestimating them all along. ‘When the stars sit down with Xposé, you never know what they’re going to come out with,’ trilled the voiceover.
We were also told to brace ourselves for the ‘most bizarre, most revealing and most hilarious’ showbiz encounters of 2017.
Perhaps all the most revealing stuff was screened when I nipped out briefly to put the kettle on and, if so, I apologise for not being in a position to share the goods with you here. But I did see plenty of bits that made me laugh, even if it was only because they were unintentionally hilarious.
First up was Victoria Beck-
ham, who was allowed shamelessly plug her latest range of cosmetics (sorry, the name escapes me for the moment) during an interview conducted in the precincts of department store B**** T***** (apologies again, no free ads on this page). There was plenty of old guff about how much she loves Dublin and what a great bunch us Irish are.
Of course, I don’t suppose The Artist Formerly Known As Posh Spice can be blamed for trying her best to flog her perfume line.
But there was something deeply unsettling about the way in which interviewer Karen Koster broke into paroxysms of laughter at anything that could be construed as being even mildly humorous.
Nor was that the only instance of what came across as exaggerated mirth. When she conducted a similarly fawning interview with Sting, I suspect there was a team of medics on standby in case she needed to have her sides stitched up.
To be fair, there was also unnecessary chortling when other members of the Xposé team came face to face with the likes of Heidi Klum, Channing Tatum and Charlize Theron. But in terms of premium-grade crawling, none of them could hold a candle to La Koster.
During her interview with Star Wars actress Daisy Ridley, she was shrieking excitedly as if the pair of them were on a hen party in Temple Bar with a couple of dozen others.
Pity that they weren’t. If they had have been, the viewers would have been spared this shamelessly sycophantic nonsense.