Sick of all these health studies? I know I am
MY attitude towards the ‘findings’ of most health-related studies is to take them with a pinch of salt. Which, given the vast number of these studies published every week, no doubt means my sodium levels are well over the recommended limit. But you get my drift.
Right from the outset, it is important to remember that a lot of this so-called research comes with an agenda attached. So if it is claimed that the healthiest diet possible involves eating, say, 27 apples a day, the chances are the Orchard Owners’ Association might have something to do with it. He who pays the piper calls the tune and all that. (Incidentally, I have no reason to believe there is any such organisation as the Orchards Owners’ Association. But if there is, it goes without saying that I’m sure they do very good work indeed.)
Meanwhile, we also see academic reports that are masterclasses in telling us what we probably could’ve guessed ourselves. I’m reminded of one of Basil’s great lines in Fawlty Towers: ‘Next contestant, Mrs Sybil Fawlty from Torquay. Specialist subject – the bleeding obvious.’
There was a classic of the genre the other day when we were warned that night owls – people who stay up late – are more likely to die sooner than early risers. Quite why it took teams of pointy-headed PhD graduates on both sides of the Atlantic to work that one out is beyond me. We are hardly talking rocket science here. Night owls are presumably more likely to be out carousing into the small hours. Either that, or they have the sort of sedentary lifestyle that involves endlessly surfing the net or watching Netflix until the sun comes up. By contrast, your average morning lark is more likely to do 20 lengths of the swimming pool before sitting down to a light breakfast of organic muesli and soy milk. I mean, it all stands to reason, doesn’t it?
It strikes me that some of these university researchers have too much time on their hands. Maybe they could do something useful like working out the exact proportion of health- and diet-related studies that are just about the effects of either coffee or red wine. I’d say it must be in excess of 90%.
Of course, the funny thing is that these studies contradict each other all the time. If you don’t like one set of conclusions, no need to worry. There’ll be another set along shortly that will match your preconceptions.
To be fair, there is an interesting paper published in the current issue of The Lancet. It says that the upper safe limit for drinkers is five standard 175ml glasses of wine or five pints of beer per week, which works out at 12.5 units.
But the key finding is that a typical 40-year-old drinking four units a day above the guidelines will reduce their life expectancy by about two years. Given that the study is based on data from almost 600,000 individuals across 19 countries, it certainly seems to be a comprehensive piece of work. I’ve no reason to doubt its conclusions.
According to one medical expert quoted last week, these results add up to ‘a serious wake-up call for many countries’. But I’m not entirely convinced it is worth getting all that worked up about it.
Nobody disputes that Ireland has traditionally had an often unhealthy relationship with the demon booze. Yet we are now living longer than ever.
Figures released last December as part of a major OECD/EU report show that the typical life expectancy here is 81.5 – five years higher than it was in 2000 and slightly above the European Union average. If that trend continues, today’s youngsters can look forward to celebrating birthdays well into their 90s.
So would checking out a couple of years early really be such a big deal? Especially when so many elderly people already spend their final days staring vacantly into space in some godforsaken home for the bewildered? I certainly know which option I’d go for.