Stop parental visits if violence is the result

IT is always difficult for both parties when any relationship breaks down. When there are children as part of that family unit, then the situation is much more complex and has the potential for even greater heartbreak. Both parents will want to spend time with their children and neither should be denied access on the basis of rumour or innuendo.

When there has been violence perpetrated by the father against the mother, however, and when that has led to the breakdown in the relationship, the situation requires extremely careful handling.

Last year Women’s Aid received almost 16,000 reports of domestic violence through its telephone network alone.

Undoubtedly that represents a level of violence against women – carried out by men who are known to them – that is sickening and totally unacceptable in any civilised society. That these women remain frightened of their abusers even when they no longer live under the same roof is also a huge cause for concern.

In most circumstances fathers retain the right to see their children but when such parental visits, as permitted under a court ruling, are proven to be endangering the physical well-being of the child or the mother, then it is all too apparent that a new system needs to be put in place.

What is most important here is that in all such instances the mother and her children must be protected from harm and kept absolutely safe. There can be no other priority when it comes to deciding on visitation rights.

Nor should children ever be used by either parent like pawns in a family game.

Parental visits are important – both for the parent in question and for the child. But if mothers are fearful of encountering further violent behaviour, as reported by Women’s Aid, then there must be an immediate overhaul of existing procedures in order to establish what is safe – and what is not.