‘I will kick you and end you if you don’t shut up’ Court hears secret recording of what son told sick mother, 75

A SON told his 75-year-old mother with advanced dementia: ‘I will f ****** kick you hard’, ‘I will knock you out’ and ‘I will end you if you don’t shut up’.

He also told her it would take two seconds to end her if he covered her mouth, and he called her ‘brain dead’, ‘retarded’ and a ‘tramp’.

The man’s chilling threats only came to light when his sister recorded them and now the woman, who isn’t being named, has been brought to hospital for her own safety.

High Court president Peter Kelly yesterday described the threats as ‘nauseating’ and disgusting. He said he had been a long time on the bench and had never seen anything worse than the transcript of the recording.

The revelations came after doctors grew concerned that the woman’s newly fused hip had dislocated, an injury that would have to be caused by trauma.

In court yesterday the son asked to be given a chance to tell his side and insisted the recording was an ‘isolated incident’. He said his mother was given ‘the best of care’ and he was ‘highly qualified’.

A surgeon who carried out the hip fusion surgery was baffled as to how the woman’s hip become dislocated, the court heard.

Public health nurses and social workers feared there might be neglect and financial abuse, the judge said. The HSE applied to make the woman a ward of court.

The son accepted that the recording was of him. He said he was ‘absolutely ashamed’ and that its contents were ‘unacceptable’, but he said underlying issues ‘build up’ when caring for someone with dementia. He said his mother was increasingly dependent, and the sister who made the recording provided no care.

He said: ‘There is no defence, but I don’t recall saying half of those things. I can genuinely say it was an isolated incident... I hope you will give me the chance to tell you about the bigger picture, and despite what you have heard, my mum gets the best level of care.’

But Judge Kelly interrupted, saying: ‘To think any son would address his aged and ill mother like that is disgusting. When I read the transcript there are some things in it that are even worse.

‘It is the worst thing I have ever seen and I found it nauseating to think it was her son, to whom she gave life, who would speak to her like that, I found it horrific.’

When asked for his qualifications the man said he was qualified as a naturopath and in wellness, health and fitness. He was also a ‘goodwill ambassador for dementia’.

But Judge Kelly said a public health nurse had said his mother was unkempt, unwashed and lying in a urine soaked bed, which she was prevented from changing by the son and his father. The man denied this.

The woman’s husband was also in court and said his son was ‘wonderful’ to his wife and ‘she idolised the ground he walked on’.

He said his wife often became agitated and he himself would use bad language and call her a ‘bitch’ but would then leave the room so as not to agitate her further.

Judge Kelly said people with dementia did not always know what they were saying but those without dementia could choose what they said. He said the language used against the elderly and ill woman was disgusting.

He said there was a further fear that the woman had suffered a diabetic ketoacidtosis – a complication of diabetes – due to something her son gave her.

But the son denied this and said she never suffered from this at home, only in hospital, and that he had been praised for his treatment of her pressure sores.

The judge made temporary orders that she should stay in hospital and that her husband and son must not give her any food or medicines without permission from doctors.

They will also have no access to her unless doctors say so. The judge will decide later on an application by the HSE to make her a permanent ward of court.

The case was adjourned for two weeks.

‘It was the worst thing I ever heard’