Three Little Presidents: The Ballad of Michael D

Oh the world’s in a state of great chassis No one knows which way to turn Not even Joe Duffy can help me When my stomach is starting to churn I’m a reasonable sort of a fellow Except when I’m being a grump ’Cos my head starts to melt off my shoulders Whenever I hear Donald Trump To begin Donald Trump is a liar An a ****** e who threatens mankind He’s the man who put twit into twitter And behaves like he’s deaf, dumb, and blind The media can’t criticise him He says that their stories are fake His perjury is all pervasive With every new lawsuits he takes Russia has Vladimir Putin A tyrant of highest degree To counter this pair we need someone Of the calibre of Michael D Putin likes taking his shirt off To show off his macho man pecs There’s a rumour abounding in Moscow He’s pestered by call girls for sex Michael D is both honest and steadfast He shoots from the hip now and then In this three-legged race in a canter He’d win with a stroke of his pen And Michael is no shrinking violet He’s ready and able to face Those people who cannot abide him Who think two terms is a disgrace They say he reneged on his promise To stand down and not reapply But Michael’s a divil for sporting And to run is to spit in their eyes Trump is a terrible eejit A big oaf who’s going to fat And his hair is a stupid concoction You’d swear that it was a dead cat His meeting with Vladimir Putin Was private to just the two men But Putin’s a bit of a cute hawk And Trump is a bit of a hen His own is the voice he keeps hearing When the bigger decisions are made And Congress is toothless and haggard And powerless to stop his charade Michael D Is the jewel of this threesome His wit, erudition and style Are superior in every department With his warm, intellectual smile And what makes him so honest and different Is that politics he is above He brightens our day with his wisdom And he preaches there’s nothing

like love So come all you contenders for office Come into the light from the dark Let’s drink to our uachtarán Michael And to seven more years in the Park