HEALTH YOURSELF
WHEN YOU’RE WORRIED ABOUT SOMEONE
IREMEMBER the feeling as I walked out of hospital cradling my first baby. It was 9pm and we took half an hour just to work out how to fit the car seat. Here we were, with this tiny creature, and they were letting us take her home? I mean, really?
That night we laid our little girl on the middle of the bed and stared at her. None of us slept as the overwhelming feeling of responsibility set in. Was she hungry? Was she too hot? Too cold? Was her poo the right colour? Mingled with the rush of love and happiness, there was a lot of anxiety.
Worry is a part of what makes us human. It comes from caring about those we love. Whether it’s a child, parent, friend or relative, I bet there is someone you’re worried about right now.
A little worry is normal, but you need to keep it in check. Worrying can make you anxious, which can have serious effects on your health and wellbeing. So, what to do when you’re worried about someone? First, realise that thinking in this way flags your concern, but it doesn’t bring anything positive to a situation. Be practical and proactive: write down anything you could do that might help your loved one and set about putting your plan in action.
Often situations might be out of your control; for example you might be concerned about a relative’s health. Release any frustration you might feel and channel it into supporting that person whenever and however they might need it.
In order to care for and support others, first and foremost you need to look after yourself. Eat well, sleep properly, exercise and prioritise self-care — you need to be strong, healthy and happy so you don’t deplete your own energy worrying about other people. This is particularly true of carers. If you have children or you care for elderly relatives, it feels natural to put them first, when in fact you need to put yourself at the top of the list. To help them, you need to be in the best possible place mentally and physically.
Instead of creating negativity by worrying, put a positive spin on things. Try the following metta (loving-kindness) meditation, which will benefit both yourself and the person you are worried about.
Find five minutes in your day and sit cross-legged on a rug, carpet or yoga mat. Sit on a cushion if you have one handy, and use a couple more under your knees if it makes sitting like this comfortable, but if it doesn’t suit your body, sit in a chair.
Press your sitting bones firmly into the ground as the crown of your head floats towards the sky. Shrug your shoulders all the way up to your ears and then release. Form a circle with the thumb and forefinger of each hand, and place one hand on each knee, palms facing down (pictured left). In yoga, this is called jnana mudra, a hand gesture that helps you turn your attention inwards.
Come to your breath. Inhale and exhale through the nose. Go with your rhythm, right here, right now. When you feel centred and calm, repeat the following phrase three times to yourself in your head: ‘May I be happy, may I by healthy, may I feel at peace.’ Slow down and savour the words to let them sink in. When you have finished return your focus to your breath.
Next keep your hands in the same shape but turn the palms upward. Known as
chin mudra, this hand gesture helps to create a more open, receptive state.
Think of the person you are worried about. Imagine them as happy and healthy. Now repeat the same metta, directing your thoughts towards that person: ‘May I be happy, may I by healthy, may I feel at peace.’ Feel the warm sense of positivity and compassion you are sending to your loved one. Stay sitting here, focusing on your breath, for as long as you like.
If this sounds a little far fetched, I urge you to give it a try. You might be surprised at how a simple boost of compassion and positive energy can lift your worries.
As for me, the worry quickly subsided as we got in our stride as new parents. I have learnt that I will always worry about my children — heck, my mum still has sleepless nights about me! — but I know positive energy and practical steps work far better than being a worrywart.
If you have a question email janine@ thisisyoga.ie. Follow This Is Yoga on Facebook and Instagram; thisisyoga.ie