When home isn’t your safe haven

Far too many people suffer hostility in their own home

THE term ‘domestic abuse’, though not defined in legislation, is a term that evokes both fear and disgust in most of us. It can be regarded as the physical, sexual, mental, financial or emotional abuse of one partner by the other in a relationship.

Women in heterosexual relationships account for the majority of reported victims of domestic abuse. Men in heterosexual relationships and men and women in same-sex relationships can, however, be victims. Children can also be subjected to domestic abuse.

Other forms can include:

Abuse of older people by spouses, children, relatives and carers.

Abuse of people with disabilities by either their carers, partners or relatives.

Domestic abuse crosses gender, age, class, race and religious beliefs. Remember, there is no ‘type’ of woman or man to whom it occurs, and there is no ‘type’ of home in which it happens.

AM I BEING ABUSED?

DOMESTIC abuse includes all kinds of physical, sexual, mental, financial and emotional abuse within an intimate relationship.

Ask yourself the following questions which, though not absolute or all-encompassing, will provoke thought and help you assess your situation. Does your partner…

Push, shove, hit, punch, slap, kick or bite you or your children?

Threaten to harm you, your children or your relatives?

Threaten to or use a weapon against you?

Threaten to kill you if you leave?

Force you to have sex against your will?

Anger easily when drinking or taking drugs?

Humiliate you in front of others?

Deliberately or maliciously destroy personal property or other items of sentimental value to you?

Constantly accuse you of being unfaithful?

Constantly and obsessively ‘track’ how you spend your time, or monitor your whereabouts?

Constantly criticise you or put you down?

Prevent you from working, leaving your home or socialising?

Discourage your relationships with family and friends?

Control all finances and force you to account in detail for what you spend?

Deny you access to money even for household necessities?

If you answer ‘yes’ to even one of these questions then you may be the subject of domestic abuse and you should carefully consider your situation.