The dancer who defines courage
The tale young who Ireland of uplifting came girl the aged to two, her parents lost both by 15... but battled loss and racism to become a TV star – and by far the most inspirational story of this year’s DWTS
DEMI Isaac Oviawe is a hive of energy. She struggles to sit still and the shimmering sequins on her rainbow maxi dress are rattling together as she jumps across the green room to tackle Dancing With The Stars judge Brian Redmond.
An hour earlier, on the live show, Redmond savaged her technique as she struggled to master a fun charleston with her new partner Robert Rowinski during switch-up week.
‘I know everyone thinks I want to kill you but I don’t,’ she reassures Brian, giving him a hug instead of the slap most in the green room thought they might see. She smiles and then hurries off down a corridor to film an online interview. She speaks a mile a minute and has an infectious enthusiasm. Thirty minutes later she finally runs out of puff and retires to the make-up room where she takes a sip from a bottle of Heineken and begins to process an evening which saw her prop up the scoreboard for the third time in the series.
‘I’m in a daze and I’m tired — there’s not much more I can do,’ she says. ‘It hurts, but at the same time the judges know what they’re doing and they’re giving me criticism to see me push on. I’m taking it on as best I can. The scores are the scores. Do they hurt? Yes of course, because I want to push on in the competition and get past the negativity. That’s what I’m doing.’
It’s easy to forget that Demi is still a teenager, struggling with the insecurities and internal battles that face Leaving Cert students. But when you see her on camera, standing proud, being judged by a panel of experts, you have to be impressed by her moxy.
It’s a trait that was borne out of necessity after Demi tragically lost both her parents by the time she was 15. She came to Ireland aged two and lost her mum Joy just three years later to breast cancer. Her dad Joe died three years ago.
‘My dad died when I was 15, just after her ten-year anniversary,’ Demi says. ‘He was always like, “get your education, you can follow your dreams but you must have education”. I’m just doing whatever they think is great up there.
‘I have support from my stepmom Kim Carroll, my uncle Courage, my brothers, my town, my school, everyone who believes in me. I have a support system that is there just for that moment when I need to let off a bit of steam.’
Demi admits that she has an unhealthy habit of not expressing her feelings, something which she is trying to change. ‘Unfortunately, given what has happened in my life, I’ve learned to bottle things up,’ she says. ‘I know it’s not healthy but I do it naturally. I’ve always bottled my feelings and emotions up and kept it going — it’s the way I’m built.
‘Ever since my dad died I’ve always been the stronger one and my brother has always looked up to me. If he saw me crack then it would not help him.
‘Even when I performed the rumba to the song for my dad, my brother started to cry because he saw me cry. That set me back — I shouldn’t have cried because it upset him.
‘Emotions got the better of me — I have to move on. Honestly this show is like a therapy session. You just keep on rolling and forget the past and focus on the now.’
The young TV star, who starred as Linda Walsh in the hit RTÉ and BBC show The Young Offenders, is hoping she can be a role model for ‘young black women in Ireland’ while on Dancing With The Stars.
Being Irish is important to her and she believes that by showcasing her attributes, she can help promote diversity on Irish television.
‘I was born in Nigeria and raised in Ireland,’ she says. ‘Being Irish does not matter what colour your skin is. To me being Irish is the way you perceive yourself and how you want people to perceive you. I’m Irish and proud to say that I’m Irish, in the same way I’m proud to be Nigerian.
‘I was raised by my stepmom Kim and she’s completely Irish, so I had a very typical Irish childhood. We have the roast dinner on Sundays, I love bacon and cabbage with brown sauce — don’t hate me!
‘I love trad music and I played the tin whistle in a traditional band for a few years. I sing in Irish and I have enjoyed and immersed myself in what is perceived to be Irish culture. But the important thing for me is that the colour of my skin is not what makes a difference. I have lived here all my life, my skin is immaterial.
‘Being Irish, to me, is about what makes you happy. You have to be kind and respectful and understanding to others. It doesn’t matter what you look like, it’s how you behave towards others.’
Demi says that she was both shocked and appalled at the comments Liam Neeson made in a recent interview, when he revealed that he had once walked the streets hunting for a ‘black b**tard’ to kill in retaliation for the rape of someone close to him. While she brands his remarks ‘revolting and disgusting’, she hopes that something good and positive can eventually be mined from the controversy.
‘He shouldn’t have said what he said,’ she insists. ‘What he said is stupid, absolutely disgusting and revolting. It was pathetic. I was absolutely horrified by it. But in saying that, he owned up and admitted that he had this moment when he wanted to go out and do what he wanted to do and say what he wanted to say and he felt bad for it and put his hands up and apologised for it. Yes, he
‘I was horrified by what Liam Neeson said’
shouldn’t have said it, but at least he owned up and said he realised he is in a generation where you can’t do that any more.
‘It’s wrong and I feel sick to my stomach but I think maybe we have to give him the benefit of the doubt. If anything good is to come from it, it’s to realise that people today still think like that and he’s highlighting that problem.
‘It’s not a recent thing, it’s been going on for years. I think him speaking about it and you asking me the question highlights that this is an ongoing problem. It took a really old-fashioned actor to showcase that it does exist and it shouldn’t happen any more, especially when you consider how the world has moved on. It’s disgusting but I’ve heard worse. I’ve heard stuff that I would not wish my worst enemy to hear.’
Though racism was never far from her childhood, Demi says that she has learned to walk away from anyone who would aim to cause her hurt and pain. ‘A**holes are a**holes, apes are apes, morons are morons,’ she says defiantly. ‘I’ve grown up with a lot of my black friends telling me that white people are racist but it just takes one bad person to ruin it for everyone. ‘If you get a really bad moment with someone in a bar or on the street and they’re slagging you for being black, or whatever they perceive to be wrong with you, you’re going to think all people of that race are the exact same. But it’s not the case. Growing up, I dealt with racial slurs and abuse to my face and I was the kind of kid that if someone was going to call me that, I was going to fight it out. But what did that achieve? It just made me look as big of a moron as them. You have to be a bigger and better person.
‘Then I did The Young Offenders and put myself and my life out there on social media and got racial abuse straight to my phone. So what do you do then? You can’t fight them. You have to put the phone down and walk away.
‘If the person is texting or commenting on you, they can’t do it to your face. They are literally a coward and there’s no point dealing with a coward because I’m stronger and better than them.
‘When I got asked to do this show, I wanted to prove that Ireland is a lot more diverse than people think. If the TV shows and talk shows had a more diverse range, it would normalise things and then when you get a racial slur it would be highlighted and not tolerated.
‘We need to get out of that bubble where Irish people are seen as blonde, blue-eyed or ginger-haired white people and open up to the array of nationalities and religions in Ireland. I’m proud to represent that on a national stage today.’
Demi admits that it takes a lot to break her down. ‘I’ve grown up taking a lot of criticism so you learn to correct what you are doing to improve for the following time,’ she says. ‘I’m thick-skinned — I’ve had to be. I can take things and maybe not crack.
‘I’ve had a few wobbles, like on the first show when I was so glad and excited to complete the dance relatively unscathed.’
The bookies have her as the favourite to be eliminated tomorrow night but even though she is clobbered by a double workload of school and dancing, she says she doesn’t know what she will do when it all ends.
‘When I was doing The Young Offenders I was literally filming one day and then back into school the next day,’ she recalls. ‘That was the biggest mind game ever because I was still having the craic when I should have been studying algebra or English.
‘For this, I think I’m going to be sickened when it ends, I don’t know what I’ll do. Because when it ends I’ll literally be back in school the following morning. Thinking about it makes my stomach turn. It will be super strange not being able to slag Kai [Widdrington, her partner] or have the banter, it will be like a break-up.’
It seems leaving the show will be the only heartache facing Demi for the time being. As a Leaving Cert student at Davis College in Mallow, Co Cork, she says that she has no time for love. ‘People think I get asked out on dates and asked to different events but the truth is I get asked on nothing,’ she says. ‘I don’t have time and when I switch off I don’t want to let that other stuff in. I don’t have the time to deal with someone else’s problems. I just want to deal with my own.’
She has bought two tickets for her Debs in August but has yet to invite anyone — though there might be more pressure on her dance skills than her love life.
‘I think after a bottle of champagne, I’m going to be dancing around the place,’ she laughs. ‘I’ll be pretending I know what I’m doing with my form and my neck, but realistically I’m going to just let go and have a laugh.’
‘I get racial abuse straight to my phone’