Get your own space, it’s not his fault!

DOM SAYS:

WELL I must say, congratulations on being a busy enough freelancer that your husband is annoying you by trying to talk to you! It can be very hard when you first detach from a company, so take heart that things are going so well.

Your situation is one that’s becoming increasingly common as more and more people work for themselves.

The first thing to say is that there’s a difference between working together and working separately, but in the same space. The former, I know, can be wonderful. The latter, I imagine, is rather tricky.

You are side by side every day, but both focused on different things. And I can see how that could start to grate a bit.

I do feel a bit sorry for your husband — he’s simply excited that now he has someone at home to play with. And long may his excitement last!

Do tread carefully here — it’s easy to see how he could become very hurt by your irritation.

So you need to act soon, to nip this in the bud before it causes real problems. I would imagine you are now saving money on your commute and not buying lunch out every day.

Why not put that towards renting a desk in a shared office space nearby? If it’s too expensive to do every day, then perhaps on an ad-hoc basis.

If that’s not possible, could you turn the dining room into your office? Or a spare bedroom? Anywhere that’s not the kitchen.

I think it’s important that you have your own office space. It’s not really fair to be cross that your husband has come into the kitchen to make a coffee, even less so that he dared to speak while making it. What else is he going to do? Kitchens are communal spaces, the heart of the home. It’s natural he’ll drift in and out when he gets bored or hungry.

Which brings me to the washing up — you say that he used to tidy up, but now leaves a mess after breakfast.

How do you know he used to tidy up after breakfast? My bet is that the rats were merrily dancing on the washing up till ten to seven when, just before you came home, he’d scramble to tidy up.

It’s fine to expect him to clean up, but you must also acknowledge you are changing his routine, too. And that can be hard.

Don’t return to work — it’s moving backwards, not forwards, and you’ll resent him when you’re back on that long commute.

But do get out of the kitchen before tempers truly boil over.

IF YOU have a question you’d like Steph and Dom to tackle, write to: features@dailymail.ie