Am I too attractive to find a new man?

She’s inundated with compliments on her online dating profile but still struggles to find a date. And 62-year-old Sue is starting to despair...

FOR Sue Holloway, dates are thin on the ground. In spite of the fact that she has been receiving plenty of compliments in her online search for a mate, life as a 62-year-old in the dating pool is a lonely one.

Sue, a property developer, is divorced and has two grown-up children and four grandchildren. Here she tells her story...

Sue, 62, says:

ANY woman reading through the messages on my dating profile would doubtless be flattered. ‘Wow,’ says one admirer. ‘Absolutely stunning,’ says another. ‘You look beautiful…’ adds one more.

In fact, scrolling down past my profile picture — taken when I was on a cruise with some girlfriends — I’m delighted to see dozens of men saying incredibly nice things about me.

Naturally, it’s lovely to hear such compliments. I’m regularly told I look a decade younger than my 62 years. They often write that my age ‘must be a typo’, and while it may sound big-headed, when I look in the mirror, I’d have to agree.

I am attractive and take great pride in my appearance, I’m fit and healthy and look after my skin. But I’m also confident, intelligent and have energy and drive.

So why is it so hard to find Mr Right? If I’m ‘so attractive’ why do men tell me I’m also ‘unapproachable’ ‘untouchable’ and that I ‘intimidate’ them ‘with my looks’.

I receive hundreds of ‘views’ on my dating profile with comments such as ‘stunning’ yet no one wants to date me. If anything, I feel that being attractive is one of the main reasons why I’m single.

I never expected to be in this position in my 60s. I met my first husband when I was only 18 and we were together for 24 years before I left him because we’d grown apart.

Three months later I met my second husband, and was with him for 15 years before he announced in 2015 that our marriage was over and he was leaving me. It came out of the blue and I was shocked.

He was 13 years younger than me and I thought we would be together for the rest of our lives. Clearly, he thought differently. Although I’m not sure he was ever the type to have an affair, it was only a few months later that he’d moved in with a much younger woman. She’s 31 and they’re now married and have a young son.

That was my annus horribilis. Not only did my marriage break down, but I lost my father and also my job and it shook my confidence.

Throughout my life, I’ve rarely been single so I was anxious about what to do and what my future held. I’d never had to think about whether I was attractive or not before, or whether my looks would fade.

If anything, I think I’ve got more attractive as I’ve got older. I would get the occasional admiring glance from a man at the gym, but as I was married, I never dreamed of acting upon it.

Yet now, I was alone and seeing myself in a new light. Would I attract someone new? I didn’t know. Had it not been for the support of my children, I’m not sure what I would have done.

But I’m not the sort of person to stay feeling low for long. Within three months of my husband leaving me, I woke up and thought: ‘How am I going to meet someone else?’

I want companionship, someone to come home to in the evening after work, and yes, to enjoy a fulfilling sex life.

So many people think that once you’re a woman over 60, you’re going to spend your days in a rocking chair with knitting needles. These days that’s utter nonsense when people are living to be 100 years old. Look at Helen Mirren — still oozing sex appeal in her 70s. I joined the dating site Plenty of Fish and met a man. We had a short relationship, but we were unsuited to each other and I was still hurting from my marriage.

Since then, I’ve had two mini relationships — one that lasted about six months and another for about ten dates — but neither worked because we lived too far apart. I’ve been single since last year so I’ve joined three other dating sites: Match.com; Bumble; and Coupling Up.

But although I get plenty of interest, the requests for dates are few and far between. My last date was at the end of last year and since then, I’ve had no other offers at all.

I’ve even applied to be on the TV programme First Dates in the hope of meeting Mr Right. I’m prepared to admit that I’m scared of ending up alone.

It’s frustrating and annoying to be told I’m too attractive. One man I went on a date with said I looked too ‘unapproachable’ and I never saw him again.

I’m not the sort of woman who would downplay her appearance just to attract a man.

Female friends say I shouldn’t change for anyone. Besides, I like to look groomed and polished. Some women are happy to let themselves go in later years and that’s fine for them, but I couldn’t bear it. I don’t swan around in glamorous dresses all the time, but I’ve always loved clothes and makeup. I polish my nails, I have fun with my hair. I always want to look my best.

I look after my skin. When I was younger, my mother used to pour olive oil in the bath and slather us in Nivea. I remember my ex-mother-in-law commenting: ‘How do you get your skin looking so perfect?’

Now, I’m more of a Decleor or Clarins fan, but however tired or ill I’m feeling, I always moisturise my skin and even make my own balms with essential oils. I’ve never smoked nor sunbathed, and only drink small amounts of alcohol.

I’m a complete gym bunny. I got into weight-lifting when I was about 44 and have not stopped since. I have a full social life and go out for dinner and go on holidays with friends.

But coming home and putting the key in the lock to an empty home can be lonely. So what am I looking for? I realise it should be about more than looks, but when I walk into a room I either think: ‘Yes’ or ‘No, no, no’ — and increasingly with men over 50, it’s the latter.

I don’t understand what’s wrong with men of a certain age on the dating scene. They always want someone much younger, yet they don’t look after themselves. I don’t mind thinning hair — after all, there’s not much you can do about that — but there’s no excuse for a pot belly or being unshaven or shabbily dressed.

LOOKS wise, my perfect man would be a 50something version of the actor Chris Hemsworth (who plays Thor in the Avengers movies).

I’ve been spoilt, having been married to a younger man for so long and wouldn’t want to date anyone older than me.

My ideal date would have the intelligence and personality of David Attenborough.

He’d be confident, spontaneous and fairly organised. He’d share some of my interests, such as medieval history, architecture, supercars, travel, and importantly, he’d need a good sense of humour.

But unfortunately, men over 50 don’t seem to want a woman in her 60s, despite the fact that I’m constantly being told that I look young for my age.

When they say I’m ‘too intimidating’, I want to say, ‘I’m a normal person looking for love. Yes, I’m attractive, but why won’t you give me a chance?’