My new plan for happiness? Do nothing for 20 minutes a day
From red carpet to real life... Reid all about it
THIS year I’m the same old me. No plan to embark on a crazy exercise regimen to shift the half-a-stone I piled on over Christmas, hoovering up the leftovers.
I’m not doing Veganuary (I love cheese on toast and a milky cuppa too much). And I’m only doing Dry January by accident because I don’t drink.
Don’t get me wrong, I understand the motivating power of a goal. But not this year. I’m just hoping, finally, to dial it all down, rather than give in to the constant pressure to do more, be more.
Maybe it has been the blissful luxury of two weeks off work over New Year’s, spending time with my family for the first time in ages.
I got to do things that I never find time to do — like watch Little Women with my mum, who turns 80 next year.
In a conversation in the run-up to Christmas, she was only half joking when she told me the gift she’d most like from me was time — just an hour to go for a walk in the park together.
I panicked. How on earth would I fit that in? But then I bought us film tickets and we laughed and cried sitting next to each other in the warm, dark cinema.
And, afterwards, instead of dashing off to meet another deadline, we went for supper in a local cafe.
It seems crazy that we have to build time into our hectic lives to stop and do nothing. But that’s what I’ve decided to do.
SO I’VE adopted the mantra ‘20 for 2020’. That’s 20 minutes per day to do nothing, other than go for a walk, switch off and — yes — stare into space.
This is a significant year for me. At the end of it, I turn 50. But I’m not going to give myself the headache of planning a huge party or a blow-out in Benidorm. I’m not planning to climb Mount
Everest or run a marathon. I’m just going to do my best to let it all wash over me.
Is it just me, or did 2019 feel like an endless fight? Tension over Brexit and climate-change protests trickled down into our everyday lives, putting pressure on every relationship.
I also — and I think it’s a bad habit many women share — put too much pressure on myself. My job means I’m awake at 3.45am, frantically trying to watch every news bulletin, read every newspaper. Then I get home from the TV studio to snatch an hour’s nap before doing more research and writing. Meanwhile, I’m trying to answer every email promptly, attend every school meeting, respond to each WhatsApp group, while juggling my teenage sons’ doctor and dentist appointments as well as my own. On top of that, I try to squeeze in some exercise before making tea from scratch each night, then wonder why I bothered when I run out of time and have to resort to using those tempting food delivery apps instead. I have kept finding myself feeling wrung out by the end of the week — and wracked with guilt to boot. And the more goals we set, the more we ramp ourselves up into bouncing coffee beans of caffeinated fury, ready to fly off the handle at the slightest trigger. Our heart-rates pounding, we find offence everywhere. We turn to our phones in our downtime, but as soon as we go online it can get worse. Take the levels of trolling spreading like an infectious disease, spawning more and more negativity.
The nastiness directed at Shirley Ballas, Strictly Come Dancing’s head judge, for instance, has reached ridiculous proportions. She described her inbox on Instagram as ‘horrific and horrendous’ — and now she’s had hate mail hand-delivered to the theatre where she was performing in a panto, too.
It’s time to take a step back. With the world teetering on the edge of calamity, with Donald Trump issuing apocalyptic threats on Twitter, there’s even more reason to introduce some calm into our daily lives.
This year, my goal is not to worry so much. Be prepared for work and be there for the children, but don’t over-stress.
As a working mum, the idea that I can control everything is a delusion I’m leaving behind in 2019.