I WILL STILL BE HERE TO HELP YOU ALL

THIS morning I got up, showered, dressed in attractive clothes (that means jeans/leggings and a lovely jumper, but never the same as yesterday), then put on make-up and jewellery.

I’ve always believed working at home shouldn’t turn you into a scruff; morale is important. Like so many of you, I am selfisolating; at 73 and with a lifelong history of breathing problems, there is no choice. But I also have to take care of my nonagenarian parents, so it’s ... well, you know, don’t you? Damn difficult, depressing and scary.

But my dressing ritual is part of my survival instinct. I made my decision to self-isolate before government advice was issued.

I often tell you that you can take control of your own life - although right now that might sound daft. But it’s not. Showing responsibility (a) to yourself and (b) to others stops you feeling like a hapless victim. We may not have control over circumstances but we can focus hearts and minds on the way we deal with those circumstances. So I need to keep myself safe - and think positively, too.

The second reason for my premature decision to self-isolate is equally important. If I manage to avoid getting sick, I will make no demands on the HSE It’s obvious, isn’t it? Then why on earth was there a rebellious chorus from people my age saying nobody will boss us around, life will go on, etc? On social media there was a spluttering of righteous indignation, cries of ‘Ridiculous!’ and ‘Overreaction!’ and so on.

What’s wrong with people? And don’t even start me on those stripping supermarkets. I noticed that when my lovely daughter-in-law got a shopping list from Mum two days ago, it was very, very small. Mum’s generation know about making do and putting up — and can be a lesson to the young.

Yet the positives are coming in all the time. I read reports of the way volunteers are coming forward and communities are helping each other and say, ‘Yes, that’s what’s right about people.

Before it became a ‘thing’, my daughter decided to put a note through neighbours’ doors, offering to go shopping. The first call came from a 90-year-old living alone, who cried on the phone with gratitude and relief. Then there were others. And Kitty (who is unwell, suffering with the recurrence of a congenital bowel problem) strode out to do her duty, feeling less scared and gloomy.

Something in my heart gives a strange leap of joy when I hear about fellow feeling and kindness. Even though we all know the worst of human nature, there is always the evidence of goodness, too.

And it’s all around —as pervasive as the horrible virus, but (thank God) more visible. It is vital for our communal wellbeing to cling to that knowledge in these dark times, because even when we are afraid (and I am) we can keep ourselves going with faith, hope and love.

I can talk to my son (who lives next door) through the window and wave at his lovely sons and look forward to the golden days ahead when all this will be over. Yes, it will!

For 13 years (lucky 13!) this column has been dealing with ordinary problems - and, of course, they will continue. Poor relationships are made worse by isolation and/or boredom, which is why many couples decide to split after unhappy Christmases.

Family squabbles are increased by close proximity. Selfish sulks become impossible when people can’t do exactly as they please. Depression will increase with a feeling of doom. Despair and fear will probably increase within the souls of those who just don’t feel they can cope.

In other words, all the ‘ordinary’ problems that are the stock-in-trade of these pages will carry on in spite of the dreaded virus - but also because of it. So do please go on writing the usual letters to me, and this column will go on from my (rather cosy) bunker as long as (God willing) I am healthy. But if you have big worries about life and death please share them and I will do my very best to answer you.