Safety first after Covid

WITH lockdown beginning to ease and the travel industry edging back into business, this column gives some general advice to the traveller who might be holidaying for the first time in a while, at home or abroad.

GIVE THANKS

IT’S customary in Ireland to thank the bus driver as you disembark. This happens in few other European country, although our nearest neighbours also share this, frankly, peculiar habit. But in Britain, where possible, people now enter and leave through the middle doors, so hollering ‘thank you!’ has largely ceased. In most of the rest of Europe the idea of thanking a bus driver seems odd to the locals.

POLITE REFUSAL

IN Ireland a person must refuse another cup of tea/slice of cake/ pint/etc a statutory three times before you can be sure they don’t want it. A holidaymaker from Mayo who was in Spain for the first time last year almost starved. Every time a waiter asked him if he wanted anything he said, ‘Ach, no I’m grand.’ For everywhere in Europe, the best advice seems to be: just say yes if you want something.

LIGHT UP

DRIVING in country areas can be challenging. At one time in rural Ireland it was common while driving at night to switch off your headlights when going around a bend. That way you could see if someone was coming in the opposite direction and possibly on the wrong side of the road. This was often known as ‘Donegal radar’. The best advice today is to keep your headlights on in all circumstances while driving at night, no matter which country you’re in.

A SMASHING TIME

WHEN glasses are broken in an Irish pub, especially behind the bar, everyone is expected to cheer. This seems to be a custom we’ve also exported to Britain, but be warned: it has been adopted in few other places. I was in O’Donnell’s in Seville early last year when a bar person dropped a whole tray of glasses. I was the only one cheering and clapping.

ROUND WE GO

COULD lockdown herald the end of the round system? With social distancing it could be a lot more difficult to implement. The round system means you drink more (and spend more) than you intended, but to be labelled as someone ‘who doesn’t stand their round’ remains the highest form of social ostracisation in parts of Irish society. This may be a thing of the past, and Ireland will come into line with the rest of the EU.

GIVE IT UP HIGH

HIGH fives — these have not significantly entered Irish society and official figures show that only around 200 or so have ever been successfully completed. In the aftermath of lockdown, they may be more popular than hand shakes, but any form of salutation involving touch may become taboo...

DON’T HUG IT OUT

THIS includes Huggy bears, which are likely to disappear. Man hugs were getting a foothold in Ireland prior to the lockdown, but Covid19 has put an end to that distinctly foreign habit. Fist bumps will probably go the same way.

In Germany, handshaking (vigorous and often) was an integral part of the culture; this has laready disappeared, along with cheek kissing (France, Italy, Spain being the main guilty parties). Across Europe people are reverting to the Scottish curt nod.

A WAVE OF GREETINGS

ON the other hand (almost literally), a friendly salutation is still employed rigorously in all rural areas in Ireland. Drivers meeting an oncoming vehicle on a country road will be expected to acknowledge the other motorist by raising a hand or a finger from the steering wheel in salutation. This is sometimes also called the Tyrone Finger or the Kerry Wave. It is confined to rural Ireland, and seems to be absent in most other parts of the continent. So don’t expect anybody to wave back at you on the autobahn from Frankfurt to Munich.

TEST DUMMIES

AFTER lockdown, a restaurant in the US state of Virginia will provide mannequins at tables which have been socially distanced, to make the place look more crowded and provide a bit of atmosphere. If this works, who knows where it might end? Maybe those empty middle seats on flights could be filled with mannequins if you indicated you fancied a bit of company. You’d need to tick the box ‘In-flight company wanted’ and pay your €20.

A TIMELY DEPARTURE

CHECK-IN times at some airports could be as long as three hours due to anti-Covid measures. That’s about three days in real time. It could be longer if your mannequin has to be searched.

... AND FINALLY

AS lockdown isn’t quite over, many readers have been asking me two questions: (a) Is it time for a glass of wine? Yes. (b) Is it time for something to eat? Yes.