FLAK TO NORMAL
Keane rage, VAR and Luiz howler - not much changes
WELL, that was a fairly uneventful return for the Premier League. Apart from another VAR controversy, the powerful images of players taking a knee, David Luiz playing the clown and everyone talking about Roy Keane (again), not a whole pile went on in football’s new normal.
A technology malfunction at Villa Park meant we had to wait for Luiz to come off the Arsenal bench before there was a goal in Project Restart.
He was on the field less than half an hour in the Etihad Stadium but his performance will be remembered for a long time, his error leading to the opening goal before conceding a penalty and getting himself sent off.
It was enough to render Gary Neville temporarily lost for words. ‘What’s more is there to say?’ he sighed as the forlorn Brazilian traipsed from the field.
Jamie Carragher was less generous, suggesting it may be the last time we will see Luiz in the Premier League. ‘It’s unbelievable he’s kidded people for so long,’ Carragher exclaimed.
One can but wonder what Keane would have made of Luiz’s calamitous performance. He made a low-key return to the Sky studio on Friday evening, looking like he needed to visit a barber.
Within a couple of minutes, Keane already had Jack Grealish in his crosshairs for having the audacity to laugh during their match with Sheffield United. ‘You are in a relegation battle, you shouldn’t be laughing.’ You had the feeling Manchester United players better not make any mistakes against Tottenham.
No such luck. Following the catalogue of defensive errors that led to Steven Bergwijn’s goal, there was always likely to be a tongue-lashing. Keane’s rant has had plenty of airtime in the past couple of days, but perhaps the best bit was when he claimed to be ‘flabbergasted’, a criminally under-used word.
There wasn’t much wrong with what he said. Harry Maguire, as the most expensive defender in world football, shouldn’t be engaged in socially distancing on a football field, while few United supporters will argue with his analysis of David De Gea, who has been a liability for the best part of two seasons.
Keane has repeatedly claimed that he wants to find a way back to the dug-out, but the more he develops his angry man act for television, the harder it is to see him as a manager. His future may lie in a studio, perhaps with Patrice Evra as his regular foil. The Frenchman did seem to get a great kick out of winding Keane up.
And while the usual glut of social media critics lined up to suggest that Keane was hamming it up for the cameras, the truth is that this is who he is.
The anger is because he cares so deeply about his former club, and the game itself. Maybe, cares a little too much.
By the end, as Bruno Fernandes and Paul Pogba combined to save a point for United and offer a glimpse of maybe better days ahead at Old Trafford, Keane had mellowed a bit and even accepted that De Gea and Maguire should be allowed on the team bus back to Manchester.
By the third matchday of Project Restart, we were starting to think there was too much football on the telly. But of course, the Beeb were broadcasting their first live top-flight game for 32 years. ‘It is strange but it is football and football is back,’ Alan Shearer proclaimed ahead of Bournemouth v Crystal Palace.
The most interesting part of the show was at the start as Gary Lineker engaged Ian Wright in a discussion about Black Lives Matter. Wrighty had proven during the lockdown to be an articulate voice on racism in football and it was no different here.
‘We have to keep the conversation going,’ Wright said, before using the tragic example of Dalian Atkinson, among others, to show that systematic racism and police brutality isn’t confined to America. After such a sobering discussion, the game itself was always likely to be a letdown.
Most remarkable was how poor Bournemouth were. ‘Nowhere near good enough, they have not won a tackle, they don’t look fit and don’t look up for it,’ was Shearer’s assessment of Eddie Howe’s team.
Wright said that Bournemouth are used to playing in a compact stadium with 12,000 fans on top of them. ‘That’s no excuse,’ Shearer countered. ‘The players need to set the tone by making the first tackle.’
The upshot is that Bournemouth look in deep trouble. After 100 days without football, it felt good to be able to focus on mundane matters such as which teams are in danger of the drop.
‘VAR controversy, comical Arsenal defending and Mourinho unhappy with referees,’ was Lineker’s summation of the opening couple of days of action.
Even without fans, it’s like it has never been away.