The one lesson I’ve learned from life
Poet Pam Ayres
WRITER, broadcaster and entertainer Pam Ayres, 73, has written 18 books, toured the world with her solo stage show and is a regular on the BBC’s Just A Minute. She lives in the Cotswolds with her husband of 38 years, theatre producer Dudley Russell, and has two adult sons and five grandchildren.
YOU DON’T NEED A CROWD TO BE HAPPY
I WAS surprised when I left home for the first time and people found my accent hilarious. I was brought up in a very insular village in the Vale of White Horse [in what is now Oxfordshire] and hardly left it for the first 15 years of my life.
Growing up, there were unwritten rules in our house: don’t get into debt, don’t borrow money, don’t get too thick with the neighbours.
My mother used to live in fear of being in a situation where people felt they could just drop in. She was a private person and used to say: ‘Retain a certain privacy.’
Today, I’ve got a few good friends and a lovely family, but I don’t seek a crowd to make me feel happy.
As the youngest of six, I did feel quite a small person. But I found I could phrase things in a way that made people laugh. I loved writing and I liked the solitude involved. But I loved performing as well. To perform and hear people laugh is a wonderful feeling.
Of course, at the moment my performances are all cancelled. In a way, there is a positive side to that because I’ve been able to work on other things, such as a musical of Peter Pan for schools. I’ve also been barbecuing and growing tomatoes and learning to play the piano.
The most painful thing has been not being able to give my grandchildren a cuddle. Being a grandmother was a revelation to me, I had no idea of the intensity of the love you feel.
My husband has been a rock. Often, where I would go off into a panic, he helps me to see the bigger picture. So I’ve been fortunate that I have the support of my husband, my lovely sons, my big brothers and my sister — and I’ve got a strong family around me, which counts for everything.
Life is a rollercoaster: you have good and bad patches. You just try to keep going and count your blessings.
UP IN The Attic, by Pam Ayres (€12.60, Ebury Press), has just been published in paperback.