Pack him off to golf when they visit

DOM SAYS:

YOURS is a rather sad letter, but I suspect you are not alone in this plight.

Small children are noisy and messy, and if I had a pound for every time I’ve heard someone say ‘my grandchildren are lovely but it’s wonderful to hand them back’, I’d be a rich man.

It can be tricky when children are not your flesh and blood. But it sounds as if your husband just doesn’t like grandchildren full stop, especially since he has no relationship with his own.

But you adore yours and it’s a shame he doesn’t seem willing to make an effort for your sake.

Given his age, one has to take into account eyesight and hearing. Does he wear a hearing aid? Is his eyesight poor?

If so, loud, boisterous children who fly around corners could be scary for him and perhaps that bad temper he seems to display is really fear.

From your description of his attitude, I would say he had a strict upbringing himself and, therefore, it’s not really his fault — it’s all he has known.

One option might be to spend more time with the grandkids on your own.

Something tells me a man with an attitude to children as oldfashioned as his probably isn’t great at fending for himself. Would it be possible to stay the weekend at your daughter’s house, so he is left to his own devices?

If he goes hungry, he might learn to appreciate you more and accept that you come with grandchildren and they will take up some of your time.

Whenever the children visit, perhaps you can pack your husband off to play golf, go fishing or whatever he enjoys doing. If he can’t welcome them into your home, then he misses out on time with you, too.

Your grandchildren bring you joy, and time with them shouldn’t be negotiable, so you must stand your ground.