Irish Daily Mail

Are you a high-tech hypochondr­iac floral or a fashionist­a?

... what your mask reveals about your personalit­y

- by Claudia Connell

ARE you designer all the way? Have you fashioned your own out of an old sock? Perhaps you colour co-ordinate with your outfits?

When it comes to face masks — now compulsory in most enclosed public spaces — it’s fast becoming clear that many people fall into very specific groups.

Here, CLAUDIA CONNELL guides you through the different mask tribes you are likely to encounter next time you pop to the shops. So which are you?

SURGICAL MASKS

DISPOSABLE, made of paper and with elastic that’s prone to snap at the most inopportun­e times — you panicbough­t a box of 500 of these from Amazon back in March and now you’re working your way through them. Same goes for the 200 rolls of loo paper and the 100 bottles of hand-sanitiser.

You tell yourself the fact they wear them in hospitals — and on Casualty and Holby City — must surely mean they’re best at fighting off the virus.

When you put one on, you like pretending you’re a surgeon, even though you’ve been wearing them back to front for weeks. How were you meant to know the blue side faced out and one of the edges has a thin wire in it so that you can mould it around your nose?

You’re meant to dispose of them after every use, but binning one when you only nipped to the corner shop for milk seems such a waste — so you pop it back in your bag for next time.

HIS ’N’ HERS

YOU spent lockdown together, you did your daily exercise together, you baked banana bread together and now you will mask up together. You both work in the creative industries and believe these past four months have truly strengthen­ed your relationsh­ip. She bought the matching masks, two each (one to wear, one for the wash) and he went along with it because he couldn’t face the sulking if he refused. The only downside is the masks mean you can’t kiss when you indulge in those public displays of affection that you think so adorable, but everyone else finds highly irritating.

BUILDER’S MASK

WASTE good money on a stupid face mask? Don’t be ridiculous. You stumbled across this old thing in the shed, left over from that time you varnished the fence eight years ago and didn’t want to inhale the fumes.

Still, masks don’t have a sell-by date do they? You gave it a rinse under the tap and it does the job. And you get used to the smell of varnish after a while.

You spent lockdown repainting your entire house and making meals out of all your store cupboard food.

HOME-MADE

THERE’S the one you fashioned from an old bra you can no longer fit into. Then there were the novelty socks you turned into a face mask after you copied that YouTube video that went viral. You bought a second-hand sewing machine from eBay, and since then there’s been no stopping you.

Every tea towel, bath mat, duvet cover and tatty old T-shirt has been transforme­d into a mask. You’re thinking of selling them on Etsy and all your friends will get one as a Christmas present.

You have a boring office job, but lockdown has really brought out your creative side — you also cut all your family’s hair with dog clippers.

STATE OF THE ART

YOU carried out a lot of painstakin­g research before purchasing your mask. So much so that face masks could now be your specialist subject on Mastermind.

Your mask is made from breathable material and comes with five-layer filter technology that will sift out the tiniest of airborne microscopi­c particles.

You look like Darth Vader and it makes you sweat buckets, but you feel smugly secure that your mask is the best.

You wear it when cycling around on the new €2,000 e-bike that you bought during lockdown — and bore the pants off everyone about. You also bought a €5,000 home cinema system to watch re-runs of Lewis, even though you tell everyone about the subtitled Scandinoir that you aren’t really watching on Netflix.

FLOWERY

YES, there’s a pandemic and it’s all very serious, but you simply won’t be seen dead in the supermarke­t in some ghastly get-up that makes you look like you work in a fish market.

Boden sells sets of three for €28 which come in patterns to match the dresses in your wardrobe. Then there are the gorgeous Liberty-print ones, as worn by Kate Middleton.

You’re going with pale pastels throughout the summer, before moving into shades of rust for the autumn soon.

Annoyingly, you are being forced to wash them yourself because your cleaner still hasn’t come back to work.

Your husband, who normally works long hours in the office, has been driving you bonkers at home during lockdown — thank heavens you can escape to your eco-pod in the garden.

BANDANA

IF IT’S good enough for Amber Heard and Johnny Depp, then it’s good enough for you. Your colourful bandana can be worn as a fashion statement neckerchie­f and then pulled over your mouth and nose when necessary.

You wear it with your hip street wear when you go to meet friends for a flat white and a croissant. Designs with skulls are your favourite. The fact that the bottom of the bandana flaps open in the breeze, offering you no protection, doesn’t bother you. You’re a rebel — and a fashionabl­e one.

PERSONALIS­ED

AS IF you are going to look like every other person when you go to the supermarke­t! You have a whole range of personalis­ed masks.

There are the cute ones with pictures of your adorable West Highland Terrier on them, the ones with your name spelt out in Swarovski crystals and — your favourite — your own face.

You love to take selfies in your face masks and upload them to your social media — now that you’ve been able to get your hair and eyebrows done, of course.

ETHICAL

ALL those discarded old paper masks you see lying on the pavement . . . it breaks your heart.

Your masks are sustainabl­e and Fair Trade. They’re made from 100 per cent organic cotton with cotton ties, not elastic. Profits from your purchase went to good causes. You won’t be washing them at the recommende­d high temperatur­e, either — you’ll hand wash them with soap you make yourself from tree bark.

Unlike others, you didn’t go mad buying new clothes and electrical goods during lockdown.

Instead, you planted a herb garden and went vegan.

DESIGNER

LIVING through a pandemic is no excuse for letting your impeccable style standards slip. You’d no more wear a disposable mask from Amazon then you would don a pair of leggings from Primark.

Your €39 silk ruffled mask by hip brand The Vampire’s Wife looks great for evenings.

You were first in line to buy the black Phillip Lim mask (€66 for five, above) — the cut makes your cheekbones look epic, while Erdem’s Meadow-themed mask is perfect for summer.

You pity the poor fools now on the waiting list to buy the €85 DSquared mask with ‘icon’ written on the front. You were first in line . . . well, you are a fashion icon, of course.

You see your masks as an investment. If only Chanel would hurry up and bring out a monogramme­d mask line.

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