I FEEL INFERIOR DESPITE MY EFFORTS

DEAR Bel,

A SHORT while ago I was asked the question: ‘Have you ever felt overshadowed?’ It’s one to which I couldn’t give an honest answer; in fact, I lied, because the person I feel overshadowed by is none other than the very charming centenarian Captain Tom Moore, who raised €33 million for charity thanks to his lockdown walk, and the amount of media support that followed.

Expressing how I feel would make me seem churlish or full of sour grapes because of the amazing sum of money raised and the recognition and fame that have followed since.

I feel no animosity toward Tom and it’s not to minimise his effort that I admit why I feel overshadowed. My wife and I have been charity volunteers for more than 30 years. We have stood inside and outside supermarkets, on street corners and at fairs for hours — and even days — with our cans collecting money. I have abseiled, skydived, done a 48-hour Scrabble marathon. We’ve organised shows, boat races, fetes and festivals.

Despite all that time and effort, we have managed to raise about €90,000 — still a lot of money, but not €36million. I confess that reading about Captain Tom made me feel inferior and second rate.

What do you think?

RAYMOND

YOUR letter is both unexpected and unusual — and I applaud your honesty. Others won’t, but I do. It isn’t easy to admit to such feelings, but you are not alone in having them.

I’m not talking about just fundraising here; what’s also at the heart of this email is a general feeling of being unappreciated and unsung.

People have it when they have worked hard all their lives trying to do good, and then read that some young celebrity has been given a gong for ‘services to fashion’ or some such tosh.

Make no mistake, the child-like cry, ‘What about me?’ echoes in more hearts than you might imagine.

Such feelings (often just fleeting) are normal in fallible human beings. None of us is a saint, even though we may do ‘saintly’ things.

Of course, you are quite right to say that without media interest Tom’s fundraising could not have gone stratospheric. He had a wonderful idea, promoted by his devoted and savvy daughter and taken up by the media at a time when all the news was bad and this story was just lovely.

I salute him, and so do you, I know. But I understand exactly what it’s like to try doggedly to raise money, often doing behind-the-scenes chores (in my case, heading up three local appeals) such as signing hundreds of begging letters and following up with more, as well as speeches. It can be boring, but you do it for the greater good, don’t you?

Make no mistake, Raymond, you and your wife have done enormous good.

The sum you mention is staggering, so you should steer your eyes from unfeasible amounts raised by others and focus on what you have achieved.

It’s quiet people like you, in your years of continual, selfless and ongoing work, who are the backbone to society.