MORE THAN ONE STRING TO MY BOW

MOST budget airlines have the same policy on banned items. In case it’s been a while since you’ve travelled, most websites have a section dealing with what you can and cannot take on board.

But here’s a brief summary: the commonest item to be confiscated is a bottle of something — from wine to water, all are banned, unless in a bottle of less than 100ml. Other items that you can’t take on board — and this is gleaned from various official websites — include snooker cues, mercury, builder’s tools, catapults, slingshots, knives, explosives.

To be honest, none of these is going to seriously impact on my holidays. But just in case mercury or catapults are key to your enjoyment, you have been warned.

One thing I do know is that you have to pay extra to take a musical instrument on board on most budget airlines. This can pose a dilemma. Just before the pandemic, I was returning to Ireland with hand luggage only. But I was also carrying a violin bow, on its own, no case — I’d bought it for my brother, who, like me, scrapes out the odd tune on the fiddle.

Would I be charged for an extra seat — would the bow have to be strapped in on the seat beside me? Or might I even be refused boarding? I wasn’t sure. I mulled it over.

Security in Bristol Airport was no problem, I was waved through. But now I had to face the check-in people. So I did what any upstanding citizen would do — I stuck it down my trouser leg and adopted a limp. Not only did it get me through check-in, it also elicited an offer of help from one of the crew. I thanked him but said I was grand, and limped to the plane, mounting the stairs, bow intact.

If anyone knows the current budget airline policy on violin bows, I’d be grateful to hear. I wrote to Michael O’Leary, but haven’t yet heard back...